Any good jokes ... ?

[PaulB]

Some bullies roughed me up and took nearly all my felt tip pens. They left me black and blue.

 

[PaulB]

What do we want?
Anagrams!
What-ho wet new mend?
Own.

 

[Kempstonian]

Do you ever think your sole purpose in life might be to serve as a warning to others?

 

[Threevok]

Me: "Doctor, I can't stop singing Psycho Killer whilst working on my bike"

Doctor: "Talking Heads?"

Me: "No, mostly brake bleeding and saddle adjustment"

 

[F70100]

 

[tyred]

 

[betty swollocks]

Q: how does an Eskimo assemble his snow shelter?
A: igloos it together.

 

[betty swollocks]

As it was such a grotty day yesterday, I made productive use of my time teaching my pet wolf to meditate.
It's now aware wolf.

 

[PeteXXX]

Q: What do you call an igloo with no toilet?

A: An ig

 

[PaulB]

I see they are going to make a film about the coronavirus.

It will be directed by Quentin Quarantino. For the music, they've approached Miley Virus.

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[Electric_Andy]

I was in the chemist and I said to the assistant
"What gets rid or Corona Virus?"
She said "Ammonia cleaner"
I said "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here....."

 

[Kryton521]

Had a terrible fight outside Tesco's. All over a packet of toilet paper. Old bat just wouldn't give it up!

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[betty swollocks]

All day I've had a desire to sing like Bing Crosby and it's now getting overwhelming.
I must be going down with crooner virus.