Any good jokes ... ?

[postman]

I don't get it unless it's a football analogy......

I'll tell you when i come back.I'm going out.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

I don't get it unless it's a football analogy......

RLB has claimed the redundancies in the closure of Salford Docks affected her political outlook.

She was 2 years old when they closed.

 

[Cavalol]

Confuse Geordie physiotherapists by telling them you've got knee complaints.

 

[postman]

As Joey said.Her dad lost his job and she was two at the time.

 

[rikki]

 

[morrisman]

Yes....Passed my paintball instructors exam today with flying colours.

 

[postman]

Postman has been away with his Church.One seminar was on Marriage.One bit of advice was given.Praise each other.
So volunteers were asked for,soddin heck Mrs P volunteered us..Reluctantly i went up,shoulders drooping.Right Mrs P imagine you are down and feeling fed up,then Mr P say something nice.Well it seems i got it all wrong.
Mrs P'S bit.

Oh Bob look at me my hair is all greasy,split ends.My skin is like Orange peel,my eyes are baggy.My body is saggy everything is going south.Say something nice to me.
Well i thought for a few seconds ,then said,which seems to have been the wrong thing to say.
Well your eyesight is good.
The room erupted in a roar and the session was brought to a close.

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

As Joey said.Her dad lost his job and she was two at the time.

It's an impressionable age.........

 

[simon the viking]

I was in a restaurant last night when the waiter came up and asked if I'd like to hear the specials; I said yes and he went "This town (ahh-ahhhh) is coming' like a Ghost Town."

You do know......I'm going to use this next time we go out to a restaurant

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

Via a cycling/work buddy

 

[betty swollocks]

I went on a hot date last night and afterwards she invited me round to her place.
It was a complete disaster.
I forgot what to do.
I must have penile dementia.

 

[morrisman]

This year's Fibonacci celebrations are going to be huge
As big as the previous two combined

 

[Dave7]

So this guy picks his little boy up from school on the day that parts for the school play had been handed out. He asks the lad "did you get a part then"? The lad excitedly says "yes dad, I play a man who has been married 20 years". The dad says "well done son, if you do well in this they may give you a speaking part next".

 

[betty swollocks]