Any good jokes ... ?

[Speicher]

I have three goldfish named Major, Minor, and Blues.
The only way I can tell them apart is by their scales.

My friend is a musician and has two dogs and a cat. He named them Bach, Offenbach and DePussy.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

My friend is a musician and has two dogs and a cat. He named them Bach, Offenbach and DePussy.

View: https://youtu.be/UKO-ebWS4Ko

 

[Cavalol]

I just can't seem to get out of this 1970s Ford car - it's like I'm Cortina trap.

 

[colly]

I had surgery on my neck last week.

Not looked back since.

 

[colly]

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[PaulB]

I was in a restaurant last night when the waiter came up and asked if I'd like to hear the specials; I said yes and he went "This town (ahh-ahhhh) is comin' like a Ghost Town."

 

[morrisman]

I have been on a Mediterranian cruise to Elba but we ended up in Madras. Seems the Captain couldn't tell his Madrass from his Elba.
Spike Milligan

 

[postman]

View attachment 502284
Rebbecca Long Bailey leads the protests at the closure of Salford docks

I have bee away for three days so i am catching up,but oh boy do i like that yes i do very much.

 

[PaulB]

I'm selling all my copies of 'The Chiropractor' magazines if anyone's interested. I've got loads of back issues.

 

[Lullabelle]

 

[EltonFrog]

View attachment 502722

Keep up, that was done yesterday.

 

[Lullabelle]

Keep up, that was done yesterday.

Sorry, I was working yesterday.

 

[Salty seadog]

View attachment 502284
Rebbecca Long Bailey leads the protests at the closure of Salford docks

I don't get it unless it's a football analogy......

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

I don't get it unless it's a football analogy......

She plays centre forward for Salford

(No - I don't get it either)