Any good jokes ... ?

[ColinJ]

I seem to remember someone posting saying that they actually asking for a 69 instead of 99 at the ice cream van, think it was @ColinJ apologies if it wasnt

It WAS me!

I developed a complex about making the mistake again and for years ordered "ice cream with flake" instead...

 

[Cavalol]

I met my girlfriend at a West Side Story fight re-enactment society. We just clicked.

 

[PaulB]

Did you know the actor Raymond Burr had a brother who was a lumberjack? His name was Tim.

 

[Cavalol]

View attachment 498867

Did you know the actor Raymond Burr had a brother who was a lumberjack? His name was Tim.

I met his brother Adversecam in the roadworks on the M6 once.

 

[Nibor]

 

[Cavalol]

Just had a sausage roll with a poached egg and hollandaise sauce,

Gregg's Benedict.

 

[Kempstonian]

View attachment 498867

Did you know the actor Raymond Burr had a brother who was a lumberjack? His name was Tim.

Yeah, his other brother, Robb, is in jail right now.

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

And another of his brothers, Harry, makes sweets in Newcastle.

 

[Cavalol]

Years ago I used to be a lighthouse keeper. I still think about it off and on.

 

[Cavalol]

I accidentally got some haemorrhoid cream on my fruit bowl, and now my grapes have disappeared.

 

[Kempstonian]

And another of his brothers, Harry, makes sweets in Newcastle.

Its quite a tragic family actually. His sister Kay has just been tossed by her Scottish boyfriend and their uncle Cy has been arrested for stalking. Very sad.

 

[Cavalol]

The Communist version of grammar Nazi is punctuation Marx.

 

[PeteXXX]

Monday-Greg
Tuesday-Ian
Wednesday-Greg
Thursday-Ian
Friday-Greg
Saturday-Ian
Sunday-Greg

The Gregorian calendar👍

 

[Chris S]

Ancestry DNA has been restricted to over 18s only in Alabama. It was being used as a dating site.

 

[morrisman]

I went out with a girl who only used similes. I don't know what I metaphor.