Any good jokes ... ?

[rikki]

If it swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably plays cricket for England.

Ouch!

 

[morrisman]

A guy with a gun bursts into a bank and screams “a person's regular occupation, profession, or trade. also known as a commercial enterprise.”
The old lady in front of him whispers to the teller, “I’d do whatever he asks. He means business.”

 

[Cavalol]

I had an accident yesterday afternoon, an ice cream van hit me head on. No serious injuries, just whippylash.

 

[Arjimlad]

 

[betty swollocks]

I had an accident yesterday afternoon, an ice cream van hit me head on. No serious injuries, just whippylash.

It swerved to avoid a cone.

 

[Speicher]

It swerved to avoid a cone.

Or just one cornetto?

 

[betty swollocks]

Or just one cornetto?

I hope @Cavalol gets lots of lolly as compensation.

 

[Threevok]

Stolen from Wales on Craic

 

[roadrash]

Our icecream man was found dead covered in raspberry sauce, chopped nuts and hundreds and thousands,..... a police statement said he topped himself.

 

[betty swollocks]

My local ice cream man was arrested after he mistakenly gave a customer a 69 instead of a 99.

 

[roadrash]

I seem to remember someone posting saying that they actually asking for a 69 instead of 99 at the ice cream van, think it was @ColinJ apologies if it wasnt

 

[Oldbloke]

I had an accident yesterday afternoon, an ice cream van hit me head on. No serious injuries, just whippylash.

A bit like banging your head on Walls...

 

[Chris S]

I seem to remember someone posting saying that they actually asking for a 69 instead of 99 at the ice cream van, think it was @ColinJ apologies if it wasnt

It was me
https://www.cyclechat.net/threads/any-good-jokes.78142/page-421#post-5309142

 

[Cavalol]

I've been playing an online game where you have to name as many English bands as possible. I've got to Level 42.

 

[Cavalol]

The council have taken me off my office job and put me on pest control. I'm fuming.