Any good jokes ... ?

[Electric_Andy]

I've just set up a dating site for chickens. It's not my normal day job; I'm just doing it to make hens meet

 

[Paulus]

Every morning I get knocked down by the same man on a bike as I cross the road.





It's a vicious cycle.

 

[flake99please]

 

[tony111]

 

[PaulB]

It was eleven years ago today my mate Jimmy came running out of that room shouting, "it's a boy, it's a boy!" We never went back to Thailand after that.

 

[Cavalol]

My egg soldiers' airborne division is always on standby.

Their planes can be scrambled at a moment's notice.

 

[Dirk]

Mate of mine who's in the forces reckons he killed 15 people during his last tour in Iraq.
I said that I thought he worked as a helicopter mechanic.
He said that he never claimed to be a good one.........

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

I met Newcastle's tallest Muslim today.

Mind Jahid.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

My manager said I was the worst Royal Mail employee he'd ever met








Edit - sorry, meant to post this somewhere else

 

[Cavalol]

With a tear in his eye, the English comedy actor told his German kitchen assistant friend that his brightly coloured, orally hirsute, sea creature pet had passed away. The German began to blub like a baby - which goes to show that “Hans that does dishes goes as soft as Gervais for Lime-Green hairy lipped squid”






*I'll get my coat.

 

[Salty seadog]

*I'll get my coat.

Here, have mine it'll be quicker.

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[Threevok]

I've just bumped into former research colleague from the paleontology department

We go back a long way, him and me

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

 

[Cavalol]

How many people remember the lyrics to 'Park Life' by Blur?

a: all the people
b: so many people