Any good jokes ... ?

[Dayvo]

 

[Oldbloke]

That's better than the Talking Heads one I had. Telling me that "We're on a road to nowhere" was not very helpful!

Try the John Denver model "Take me home, country roads"

 

[Cavalol]

Noël Coward was terrified of Christmas.

 

[Wixsteman]

Try the John Denver model "Take me home, country roads"

Don’t use the Bonnie Tyler European model keeps getting me”Lost in France “

 

[Archie_tect]

"What's E.T. short for?"

"I don't know, is it Extr...."

"He's only got little legs."

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

Why do elephants have big ears?

Because Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom.

(You're thinking that was from a Christmas cracker, but they were worse than that...)

 

[raleighnut]

How does good King Wencelas like his pizzas

Deep pan crisp and even.

Now that is from a cracker.

 

[JtB]

View attachment 497719

This is my favourite festive joke, apart from the fact that I’ve now got it going round and round in my head

 

[AndyRM]

 

[Cavalol]

I got a can of Newcastle Brown Ale stuck in my foot.

It's an ingrown toon ale.

 

[CharlesF]

 

[Mike Ayling]

The threads about those considering emigrating due to Brexit and/or Boris taking over remind me of this:

How do you know when a plane full of Pom migrants has just landed in Melbourne Australia?
You can still hear the whining after the engines have been turned off!

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[Cavalol]

When a monarch dies, the BBC is not allowed to show comedy shows until after their funeral.

This means when the Queen does pass away, Miranda Hart will still be on TV.

 

[Cavalol]

“I went on a hiking holiday in Belgium.”

“You trekked?”

“No. That’s in Holland."