Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.
betty swollocks
large member
Could cost someone Deere.
betty swollocks
large member
I wonder what the combine speed was?
betty swollocks
large member
And did the drivers have to bale out?
GM
Legendary Member
- Location
- North of the river
Bill Gates
Guest
- Location
- West Sussex
These jokes i put on a joke thread on here 10 years ago. here goes
A bloke walks into a pub and asks for 12 vodkas.
The barman lines them up and watches him knock them back. " Hell mate what's the celebration?"
I've just had my first blow job
The bar man congratulates him."Let me buy you another one"
Nah, F**k that if 12 don't take the taste away, 13 ain't going to do it
A bloke walks into a pub and asks for 12 vodkas.
The barman lines them up and watches him knock them back. " Hell mate what's the celebration?"
I've just had my first blow job
The bar man congratulates him."Let me buy you another one"
Nah, F**k that if 12 don't take the taste away, 13 ain't going to do it
Last edited:
Bill Gates
Guest
- Location
- West Sussex
A woman goes to the doctor.
Doctor she says I have a problem. Every time I walk I fart. Really he says, would you mind just walking across the floor for me? She does and sure enough a series of farts are emitted. And would you mind walking back again. sure enough some more farts are heard.
With that he reaches into a drawer and pulls out a large rod with a hook on the end. You aren't going to stick that up my arse are you doctor? No I'm going to open the window. There's a terrible smell in here.
Doctor she says I have a problem. Every time I walk I fart. Really he says, would you mind just walking across the floor for me? She does and sure enough a series of farts are emitted. And would you mind walking back again. sure enough some more farts are heard.
With that he reaches into a drawer and pulls out a large rod with a hook on the end. You aren't going to stick that up my arse are you doctor? No I'm going to open the window. There's a terrible smell in here.
Bill Gates
Guest
- Location
- West Sussex
A priest and a nun were returning from the church convention when their car broke down.They had it towed to the local garage and faced the fact that they'd have to spend the night in a motel. There was only 1 motel in town and it only had 1 room available. So they had a problem.
'Sister ,' said the priest, 'i dont think the lord would mind, under the circumstances, if we spent the night together in this 1 room. i'll sleep on the couch and you take the bed,'
'I think that would be ok,' said the nun.
They prepared 4 bed and each 1 took took their agreed place . 10 minutes later the sister said , 'Father, i'm terribly cold,'
'Ok ,' said the priest, 'i'll get up n get you a blanket from the closet,'
10 minutes later the nun said , 'Father i'm still terribly cold,'
'OK sister,' said the priest, ' i'll get up n get you another blanket,'
10 minutes later , the nun said ,'Father, I'm still terribly cold. I don't think the lord would mind if we acted as man and wife for just this one night,'
' You're probably right ,' said the priest , 'Get up and get your own damn blanket,'
'Sister ,' said the priest, 'i dont think the lord would mind, under the circumstances, if we spent the night together in this 1 room. i'll sleep on the couch and you take the bed,'
'I think that would be ok,' said the nun.
They prepared 4 bed and each 1 took took their agreed place . 10 minutes later the sister said , 'Father, i'm terribly cold,'
'Ok ,' said the priest, 'i'll get up n get you a blanket from the closet,'
10 minutes later the nun said , 'Father i'm still terribly cold,'
'OK sister,' said the priest, ' i'll get up n get you another blanket,'
10 minutes later , the nun said ,'Father, I'm still terribly cold. I don't think the lord would mind if we acted as man and wife for just this one night,'
' You're probably right ,' said the priest , 'Get up and get your own damn blanket,'
Bill Gates
Guest
- Location
- West Sussex
A guy chats up an older woman at a club. she looks ok for a 51 yr old and he finds himself thinking that she probably has a hot daughter.
they drink a bit and have a bit of a snuggle and then she asks him if he ever had a "sportsmans double"
"whats that?" he asks
"its a mother and daughter threesome" she says
"no" he replies exitedly. they drink a bit more, then she says that tonight is his lucky night
so they head back to hers. she turns on the hall light and shouts upstairs
.
.
.
"MUM,YOU STILL AWAKE?"
they drink a bit and have a bit of a snuggle and then she asks him if he ever had a "sportsmans double"
"whats that?" he asks
"its a mother and daughter threesome" she says
"no" he replies exitedly. they drink a bit more, then she says that tonight is his lucky night
so they head back to hers. she turns on the hall light and shouts upstairs
.
.
.
"MUM,YOU STILL AWAKE?"
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
You shouldn't make jokes about the rugby players. They are just gentlemen playing with funny shaped balls.
