Any good jokes ... ?

[peterdowning]

The next Bond film has just been announced. The villain will be a cross between Blofeld and Odd Job - Odd Feld.

Reminds me of the unluckiest man in the world who crossed a bloodsucker with a cockroach and got a bloodroach.

 

[Andy_R]

Had a fight with an erection this morning.

Beat it single handed...

 

[Cavalol]

I used to apply my uncle's fake tan.


I was like the sun he never had.

 

[Cavalol]

Brexit has had more dates than a Turkish food shop.

 

[Cavalol]

My old French teacher, the guy who taught me everything I know, has passed away.

Adios Amigo.

 

[AndyRM]

 

[Threevok]

I just joined a Tetris club, along with my friends.

Although I only did it to fit in

 

[AndyRM]

I just joined a Tetris club, along with my friends.

Although I only did it to fit in

 

[Chris S]

Spotted in County Fermanagh

 

[peterdowning]

I recently followed a Mini across the Tyne Bridge in Newcastle that had Y1 LAS as its reg.

 

[Threevok]

I saw one the other day that said B003 JOB

 

[raleighnut]

Steve Parrish's Mercedes,

 

[Lullabelle]

 

[PaulB]

The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers.
"Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me."
"Good. What comes after three."
"Four," answers the boy.
"What comes after six?"
"Seven."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?"
"A jack," says the kid.

 

[bruce1530]

Despite the delays, Boris and Nigel tell us that this year they’re going to have a Brexit Dinner on 25 December.
It’s pretty much the same as a Christmas Dinner, but without the Brussels.