Any good jokes ... ?

[PaulB]

 

[wheresthetorch]

I've got an Eton-themed advent calendar this year. The doors are all opened for me by my father's contacts.

 

[Cavalol]

My friend confessed to me he's developed a weird habit of colouring in the tops of other people’s arms. I think he was just looking for a shoulder to crayon.

 

[Cavalol]

A truck carrying incontinence pants has shed its load on the M42. Police are warning of long delays due to rubberknickers.

 

[Cavalol]

Met a girl today who said her face was allergic to all cosmetics. Honestly, you couldn't make it up.

 

[Chris S]

I'm not a sexist. If my wife wants to be an airline pilot and fly half way around the world then that's fine by me. So long as my dinner is on the table when I get home …

 

[Cavalol]

Have you been affected by malapropisms at work? You may be entitled to condensation.

 

[Cavalol]

People saying 'boo!' to their friends has risen by 85% in the last year.

That's a frightening statistic.

 

[Cavalol]

In 1964, Steve McQueen won a 'Superman' lookalike contest because he was in the greatest cape.

 

[Cavalol]

The president of Somerset is based in the Yeovil office.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Steve McQueen was busted to private 7 times whilst in the US Marines then decorated when he saved the lives of marines in a tank that was sinking.

 

[AndyRM]

In 1964, Steve McQueen won a 'Superman' lookalike contest because he was in the greatest cape.

I'm seriously mad at myself for how funny I found this.

 

[Chris S]

I'm seriously mad at myself for how funny I found this.

I still don't understand it?

 

[AndyRM]

I still don't understand it?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Great_Escape_(film)

 

[Chris S]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Great_Escape_(film)

Sorry wrong post - it was this one

Steve McQueen was busted to private 7 times whilst in the US Marines then decorated when he saved the lives of marines in a tank that was sinking.