Any good jokes ... ?

[betty swollocks]

My wife cried this morning because she dropped an omelette all over her art supplies.
She was having an eggs and stencils crisis.

 

[AndyRM]

 

[CharlesF]

Boycott shampoo.




We need real poo.

 

[roadrash]

Modern day monty python.... (sorry its from facebook)..

View: https://www.facebook.com/david.trick.906/videos/10156303024651283/?t=56

 

[CharlesF]

How to cook the correct amount of rice.

1. Pour out how much you think you need.

2. Wrong.

 

[AndyRM]

How to cook the correct amount of rice.

1. Pour out how much you think you need.

2. Wrong.

In a similar vein:

How to wash a teaspoon.

1) Run it under a tap.

2) Change all of your clothes.

 

[Cavalol]

I just met the manager of the Chinese restaurant that Toyah Willcox eats in.

It's a Mr. Wee.

 

[glasgowcyclist]

What’s the difference between the Cirque du Soleil and the Conservatives?

One’s a cunning array of stunts...

 

[Chris S]

The next Bond film has just been announced. The villain will be a cross between Blofeld and Odd Job - Odd Feld.

 

[CharlesF]

It's so cold and windy outside I've just seen a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

 

[PeteXXX]

Rembrant walks into a pub and sees Van Gogh standing at the bar..
'Hey, Vince. Do you want a drink?'

'No, thanks, I've got one ear!'

 

[Cavalol]

On the phone to seaworld they asked me to jump through a loop and do a flip. Turns out my call was for training porpoises.

 

[Chromatic]

Modern day monty python.... (sorry its from facebook)..

View: https://www.facebook.com/david.trick.906/videos/10156303024651283/?t=56

A pity that Europe couldn't be dubbed in in place of Romans

 

[Andy_R]

A pity that Europe couldn't be dubbed in in place of Romans

View: https://youtu.be/ptfmAY6M6aA

 

[betty swollocks]