Any good jokes ... ?

[Salty seadog]

View attachment 477355

Only just got that one after looking a second time.

 

[Cavalol]

I had a go at throwing Celine Dion’s boomerang - it’s all coming back to me now.

 

[AndyRM]

I had a go at throwing Celine Dion’s boomerang - it’s all coming back to me now.

Did you forget to hold it like that?

 

[Cavalol]

I almost won gold in the "Don't take your blindfold off" Olympics, but I peeked too soon.

 

[Threevok]

I give up trying to teach my mate mountain climbing

I'm at the end of my tether

 

[Cavalol]

I know a bloke who writes poetry on bathroom walls. Versatile chap.

 

[Threevok]

I'm struggling to read a small print version of a cartoon by Georges Remi

I think its called "The Adventures of Squinting"

 

[Threevok]

Man : "What you did was immoral, indecent and downright unacceptable in modern society"

Me : "Who the hell are you, to judge me?"

Man : "The Right Honorable Judge Lewis-Smythe QC (Presiding)"

 

[Threevok]

Me : "Doctor, I keep imagining everyone as a tortoise"

Doctor : "I'm not quite sure what the problem is, but I'm going to stick my neck out here....."

 

[Threevok]

To stop seagulls stealing your chips, add some Fennel

This means you have impeccable taste

 

[Threevok]

I keep losing my rulers

It's an underlining problem

 

[Dayvo]

 

[screenman]

I lent a mate of mine £10,000 to have plastic surgery, not seen him since.

 

[Dayvo]

Sooner or later I'm going to get into real trouble!

 

[CharlesF]