Any good jokes ... ?

[morrisman]

My mate died because the report said he had Type-A blood
Unfortunately it was a Type-O

 

[Dave7]

Warning Warning
Look away now if you dont like really bad jokes.

I went into my local record shop and asked "do you have anything by the doors"
She said "yes, we have a bucket and a fire extinguisher".

 

[PeteXXX]

King Solomon's Mine...



That's OK, you can have him.

 

[Cavalol]

My wife has left me because I can’t understand the concept of a dairy product obtainable by coagulating milk with an acidic substance.

I’m confused and I don’t understand what’s a curd.

 

[morrisman]

Arson? Oh! you mean crime brûlée

 

[colly]

A breathtaking view of the Milky Way taken from Mars.

 

[postman]

I was eating some German Christmas cake.When i was asked is that stollen,no i said i paid for it with the latte.

 

[morrisman]

I got fired from the zoo today for talking to Jumbo
Apparently I am not allowed to address the elephant in the room

 

[postman]

Mrs P has just caught me having a nip of gin ,out of the drinks cupboard.You cannot have that,
Why
Because it's Gordon's.



I'll get my coat.

 

[Cavalol]

Cashew - the sound of a nut sneezing.

 

[CharlesF]

If Barack Obama and Donald Trump were both hanging from a cliff and you could only save one, where would you and Obama get lunch afterwards?

 

[Salty seadog]

If Barack Obama and Donald Trump were both hanging from a cliff and you could only save one, where would you and Obama get lunch afterwards?

Cheap but you can have that one.

 

[guitarpete247]

If Barack Obama and Donald Trump were both hanging from a cliff and you could only save one, where would you and Obama get lunch afterwards?

Only if he lands on Boris.

 

[Cavalol]

"My sister's handwriting is terrible, is that an 'o' or an 'i' ?"

"It's the letter 'o' dear."

"Oh my God! My brother-in-law's shot himself."

 

[PeteXXX]

'Sensual' is using a feather.

'Perverted' is using the whole chicken.