Any good jokes ... ?

[XRHYSX]

My 10-year-old son said he wants to learn karate.

I'm glad, the missus has been nagging me about painting the garden fence.

 

[PaulB]

It must be great being Korean in this weather. You can take your dog to work with you and let it slow cook in the car.

 

[s7ephanie]

Two Tennessee rednecks were looking at a Sears
catalog and admiring the models.
One says to the other, 'Have you seen
the beautiful girls in this catalog?'
The second one replies, 'Yes, they are
very beautiful. And look at the price!'

The first one says, with wide eyes,
'Wow, they aren't very expensive.
At this price, I'm buying one.'

The second one smiles and pats him on the back.
'Good idea! Order one and if she's as beautiful
as she is in the catalog, I will get one too.'

Three weeks later, the youngest redneck asks his
friend, 'Did you ever receive the girl you
ordered from the Sears catalog?'

The second redneck replies..... .

'No, but it shouldn' t be long now.
I got her clothes yesterday.!!!

 

[Maz]

My 10-year-old son said he wants to learn karate.

I'm glad, the missus has been nagging me about painting the garden fence.

I must be very slow...I don't get. Sorry.

 

[Inertia]

I must be very slow...I don't get. Sorry.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R37pbIySnjg

 

[Maz]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R37pbIySnjg

OK cheers. I'd not seen the film before.

 

[PaulB]

I bought a new stick of deodorant today. The instructions read; 'remove cap and push up bottom'. I can't walk properly but when I fart, the room smells sweet.

 

[classic33]

OK cheers. I'd not seen the film before.

Don't believe that for a minute.

 

[Arch]

Don't believe that for a minute.

I've never seen it either. I only saw a Die Hard film for the first time last weekend.

 

[TVC]

I've had seven yoghurts tonight, I'm completely mullered.

 

[Scoosh]

I've never seen it either. I only saw a Die Hard film for the first time last weekend.

One is enough, Arch !

 

[classic33]

I've never seen it either. I only saw a Die Hard film for the first time last weekend.

Unbelievable. Out of interest, which one?

 

[ColinJ]

OK cheers. I'd not seen the film before.

I haven't either! (Nor the first 3.)

But I have seen the Die Hards ...

 

[Stephenite]

I couldn't help noticing the link that the number 77 had to yesterdays Men's Single final at Wimbledon. I told my friend, "The last time Britain had a Men's Singles champion was 77 years ago. The last time we had a singles champion at Wimbledon was Virginia Wade, in 1977. To top it off, the date yesterday was the 7th of the 7th. I'm not usually superstitious, but I thought 'fark it... I'm going to bet £77."

"Nice one," he replied, "How much did you win?"

"fark all. I put it all on Djokovic."

 

[Inertia]

OK cheers. I'd not seen the film before.

no worries, worth watching if you catch it on tv, Id skip the sequels though.