Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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Fnaar
Smutmaster General
- Location
- Thumberland
ayceejay
Guru
- Location
- Rural Quebec
If mother in law jokes are making a come back: I bought mine a chair for Christmas, she sits in it but she hasn't switched it on yet.
Have you topped up the meter before she turns it on?
Ron-da-Valli
It's a bleedin' miracle!
- Location
- Rorke's Drift
I bought my mother in law a coffin last year. I didn't buy her anything this year and she asked me why. I told her she hadn't used the one I got her last year!
jayonabike
Powered by caffeine & whisky
- Location
- Hertfordshire
Did you know Mother in Law is an anagram of Woman Hitler.
swee'pea99
Legendary Member
Les Dawson: "I saw six men beating up the mother in law. My neighbour said 'didn't you go to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
Kins
Über Member
- Location
- Ystradgynlais, S. Wales
How do you stop your mother-in-law from drowning?
Take your foot off her head.
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A man returned home from the night shift and went straight up to the bedroom. He found his wife with the sheet pulled over her head, fast asleep. Not to be denied, the horny husband crawled under the sheet and proceeded to make love to her. Afterward, as he hurried downstairs for something to eat, he was startled to find breakfast on the table and his wife pouring coffee. "How'd you get down here so fast?" he asked. "We were just making love!" "Oh my God," his wife gasped, "That's my mother up there! She came over early and had complained of having a headache. I told her to lie down for a while." Rushing upstairs, the wife ran to the bedroom. "Mother, I can't believe this happened. Why didn't you say something?" The mother-in-law huffed, "I haven't spoken to that jerk for fifteen years, and I wasn't about to start now!"
Take your foot off her head.
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A man returned home from the night shift and went straight up to the bedroom. He found his wife with the sheet pulled over her head, fast asleep. Not to be denied, the horny husband crawled under the sheet and proceeded to make love to her. Afterward, as he hurried downstairs for something to eat, he was startled to find breakfast on the table and his wife pouring coffee. "How'd you get down here so fast?" he asked. "We were just making love!" "Oh my God," his wife gasped, "That's my mother up there! She came over early and had complained of having a headache. I told her to lie down for a while." Rushing upstairs, the wife ran to the bedroom. "Mother, I can't believe this happened. Why didn't you say something?" The mother-in-law huffed, "I haven't spoken to that jerk for fifteen years, and I wasn't about to start now!"
After a long, awkward silence, my mother-in-law said, "You really hate me, don't you?"
"Hate is a strong word," I replied.
"So you can tolerate me," she said with a smile.
"Oh no, I farking detest you," I said. "I was just complimenting you on your choice of word."
"Hate is a strong word," I replied.
"So you can tolerate me," she said with a smile.
"Oh no, I farking detest you," I said. "I was just complimenting you on your choice of word."
sibluenose
Well-Known Member
- Location
- West Midlands
Interviewer: What would you say is your biggest weakness?
Interviewee: I guess it would be my honesty; I am a very honest person.
Interviewer: I don't think that is a weakness
Interviewee: I don't give a fark what you think!
Interviewee: I guess it would be my honesty; I am a very honest person.
Interviewer: I don't think that is a weakness
Interviewee: I don't give a fark what you think!
Mr Haematocrit
msg me on kik for android
- Location
- Out of the saddle
