Any good jokes ... ?

[Cavalol]

Does anyone know Bruce Lee's Dad's name?


It's always been a Mr. Lee to me.

 

[Cavalol]

I visited the nearby model village the other day, and bumped into a friend I hadn't seen in years.

Small world

 

[PaulB]

You know the Canary Islands? There's no Canaries there. Same as the Virgin Islands. There's no Canaries there either.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Did you hear the one about the quality Sustrans route?

 

[LeetleGreyCells]

Did you hear the one about the quality Sustrans route?

Tumbleweed gently bounces along. Then get stuck in the roots and cracked tarmac on the NCN path. It’s blown loose just get stuck in the motorbike barrier.....

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

What's made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones?

Spoiler: Spoiler

Trombones

 

[Cavalol]

Talking of which, you've no idea how disappointed I was to find out BBC's 'Young Brass Of The Year' was about music.

 

[colly]

 

[Kempstonian]

Patrick goes to confession. "Bless me father for I have sinned, I've had sex with one of the married women in the village after the dance last week".

The priest says, "Was it that jezebel Mary Riley?"

"No father", says Patrick.

"Was it that shameless hussy Katie Reardon?"

"No father, it wasn't her either"

"Then was it that immoral slut Margaret Kelly?"

Patrick replies, "No father it was none of those, but thanks for the tips".

 

[oldfatfool]

Talking of which, you've no idea how disappointed I was to find out BBC's 'Young Brass Of The Year' was about music.

Same when the wife anounces its time for pawn stars and a hardcore pawn marathon.

 

[Archie_tect]

Never, ever google for suppliers of MOT Type 1 hardcore [gravels]

 

[benb]

You know the Canary Islands? There's no Canaries there. Same as the Virgin Islands. There's no Canaries there either.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canary_Islands#Etymology
The name Islas Canarias is likely derived from the Latin name Canariae Insulae, meaning "Islands of the Dogs", a name that was applied only to Gran Canaria. According to the historian Pliny the Elder, the Mauretanian king Juba II named the island Canaria because it contained "vast multitudes of dogs of very large size"

 

[Deleted member 26715]

Never, ever google for suppliers of MOT Type 1 hardcore [gravels]

Why this was my first result https://www.wickes.co.uk/Wickes-Granular-Sub-Base-MOT-1---Jumbo-Bag/p/224665

 

[Archie_tect]

Ah you see, you advise people not to do something and they immediately go off and do it... I never get hardcore from Wickes.

 

[glasgowcyclist]

View: https://twitter.com/bingaddick/status/1062025645469908992