Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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raleighnut
Legendary Member
- Location
- One of the 'Elite'
Not the £3.14 one.
Arjimlad
Tights of Cydonia
- Location
- South Glos
Ha ha.. especially the bedpost at 2.30 am after getting up in the dark for a comfort break
!
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
oldfatfool
Guru
Tramp wandering around the golf club car park hoping to score a few quid comes accross the captains rolls royce just as the distinguished gent us getting out. Lovely car squire says the tramp gazing through the open door. Yes says the captain eager to show off even to the tramp, it comes with everything, air conditioning, ventilated massage seats, 28 speaker stereo, tv, dvd player phone, everything. Wow says the tramp amazed, spotting a couple of teas that have fallen from the captains pocket and onto the drivers seat he points and asks what are they for? Why chuckles the club captain, they are for resting your balls on when driving, fark me says the tramp, roll royce do think of everything.
But if you're from Northern Ireland, 'throughout' seems to be the hardest word.
machew
Veteran
A rabbit one day managed to break free from a laboratory where he had been born and brought up. As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life.
"WOW! This is great," he thought. It wasn’t long before he came to a hedge and, after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight: lots if other bunny rabbits - all free and nibbling at the lush green grass. "Hey," he called out. "I’m a rabbit from the laboratory over there and I’ve just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?"
"Yes. Come and join us, " they all cried out.
Our friend hopped over to them and started eating the grass.
It tasted so good.
"What else do you do wild rabbits do?" he asked.
"Well," one of them said, "you see that field over there? Its got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them."
This he couldn’t resist and he spent the next hour gorging on the most succulent carrots he had ever tasted. "They are wonderful" he told his new friends.
Much later, he asked them again: "What else do you do?" "You see that field there in the distance? Its got lettuce growing in it. We eat them as well".
The lettuce tasted just as good and he returned some hours later, completely full of lettuce.
"Is there anything else you guys do?" he asked.
One of the other rabbits came close to him and spoke softly:
"There is one other thing you must try." Pointing to a bunch of rabbits in the far corner of the field, he said "They’re girl rabbits. We shag them. Go and try it."
Well, our friend spent the rest of the afternoon screwing his little heart out until, completely knackered, he staggered back to his male friends. "That was fantastic," he panted.
"So are you going to live with us then?" one of the asked.
"I’m sorry. I had a great time. Believe me, but I can’t".
The wild rabbits all stared at him in amazement. "Why? We thought you liked it here."
"I do," our friend replied. "But I must get back to the laboratory.... I’m dying for a cigarette."
"WOW! This is great," he thought. It wasn’t long before he came to a hedge and, after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight: lots if other bunny rabbits - all free and nibbling at the lush green grass. "Hey," he called out. "I’m a rabbit from the laboratory over there and I’ve just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?"
"Yes. Come and join us, " they all cried out.
Our friend hopped over to them and started eating the grass.
It tasted so good.
"What else do you do wild rabbits do?" he asked.
"Well," one of them said, "you see that field over there? Its got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them."
This he couldn’t resist and he spent the next hour gorging on the most succulent carrots he had ever tasted. "They are wonderful" he told his new friends.
Much later, he asked them again: "What else do you do?" "You see that field there in the distance? Its got lettuce growing in it. We eat them as well".
The lettuce tasted just as good and he returned some hours later, completely full of lettuce.
"Is there anything else you guys do?" he asked.
One of the other rabbits came close to him and spoke softly:
"There is one other thing you must try." Pointing to a bunch of rabbits in the far corner of the field, he said "They’re girl rabbits. We shag them. Go and try it."
Well, our friend spent the rest of the afternoon screwing his little heart out until, completely knackered, he staggered back to his male friends. "That was fantastic," he panted.
"So are you going to live with us then?" one of the asked.
"I’m sorry. I had a great time. Believe me, but I can’t".
The wild rabbits all stared at him in amazement. "Why? We thought you liked it here."
"I do," our friend replied. "But I must get back to the laboratory.... I’m dying for a cigarette."
simon the viking
Guru
Knock knock
Who's there?
Control Freak
C.....
THIS IS WHERE YOU SAY CONTROL FREAK WHO!!!
Who's there?
Control Freak
C.....
THIS IS WHERE YOU SAY CONTROL FREAK WHO!!!
