Any good jokes ... ?

[colly]

Bowling balls are 121mm wide at their widest.

Edit: Mundane prob.

 

[Cavalol]

The one who gets a bowling ball inside a narrow briefcase? He supported Vine at this venue the last time we saw him.

John Archer is his name.

 

[Milzy]

I was out cycling earlier and some anti cycling Twot threw a tub of cod liver oil capsuales at me. Luckily my injuries are only super fish oil!!
Boooom booom!!!

 

[midlife]

I was out cycling earlier and some anti cycling Twot threw a tub of cod liver oil capsuales at me. Luckily my injuries are only super fish oil!!
Boooom booom!!!

Deja vu for page 477?

 

[Cavalol]

Pythagoras walks into a bar muttering, 'If a right-angled triangle has a short side, X, a long side, Y, and hypotenuse, Z, then the square of Z must be equal to the sum of the square of X and the square of, erm... uh...'The barman says, 'Y, the long face?'

 

[Cavalol]

My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't quit my "Hey diddle diddle" jokes so I've decided to stop.

The cow is over the moon.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Two cannibals are eating James Corden

"Does this taste funny to you?" the first cannibal asks.

"No" replies the second.

 

[Milzy]

I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla.

 

[Cavalol]

I haven’t been in touch with my French friend Chamois for a while. I’ll ring him later.

 

[raleighnut]

I haven’t been in touch with my French friend Chamois for a while. I’ll ring him later.

It may be expensive.

 

[Cavalol]

Can someone tell me the American series where Ted Danson played the part as the Barman?
Cheers

 

[Cavalol]

It’s all very well going on about giving up smoking, but ever since my dad Buffalo Two Rivers packed up, he’s not messaged me once.

 

[Mugshot]

I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla.

The subject of the use of the word "girl" and it's context crops up here occasionally, some points I agree with, others I remain to be convinced on. Here though, I have to say, it sounds frankly ridiculous.

 

[Cavalol]

When my girlfriend told me that she has an abduction fetish, I thought she was kidding.

But she demands to be taken, seriously.

 

[betty swollocks]

Some of them want to curd you, some of them want to be curd by you.