Any good jokes ... ?

[raleighnut]

I know, it's dixgusting

 

[roadrash]

douze you really think so

 

[Electric_Andy]

I think these French number jokes should be put into Quarante et un until they are deemed safe to publish

 

[Speicher]

Onze upon a time I did.

 

[raleighnut]

douze you really think so

Quatorze garicaly

 

[roadrash]

SEIZE the opportunity for more puns

 

[raleighnut]

{placeholder for 'Soixante Neuf' before @Fnaar gets it}

 

[Milzy]

I saw 6 men walking around the cemetery carrying a coffin.

2 hours later they were still walking around, still carrying the coffin.

I thought to myself "they've lost the plot."

 

[PaulB]

This isn't a joke, it's just to warn people that I'm going to see Tim Vine tomorrow night so please expect a load of Tim Vine-type funnies on here when I get back. Doubtless some will be pulled for 'inappropriate content'.

 

[Cavalol]

This isn't a joke, it's just to warn people that I'm going to see Tim Vine tomorrow night so please expect a load of Tim Vine-type funnies on here when I get back. Doubtless some will be pulled for 'inappropriate content'.

To be fair, they probably won't. We (daughter and I) went to see him last week, he's very funny but also 'clean' as well. If you get the comedian/magician fella before him, you're in for a treat, he's brilliant.

 

[Milzy]

This isn't a joke, it's just to warn people that I'm going to see Tim Vine tomorrow night so please expect a load of Tim Vine-type funnies on here when I get back. Doubtless some will be pulled for 'inappropriate content'.

This should have been put up in the mundane news thread.

 

[morrisman]

Harry Potter can’t tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best friend.
They are both cauldron

 

[PaulB]

To be fair, they probably won't. We (daughter and I) went to see him last week, he's very funny but also 'clean' as well. If you get the comedian/magician fella before him, you're in for a treat, he's brilliant.

The one who gets a bowling ball inside a narrow briefcase? He supported Vine at this venue the last time we saw him.

 

[Mugshot]

This should have been put up in the mundane news thread.

What's been killed?

 

[colly]

The one who gets a bowling ball inside a narrow briefcase? He supported Vine at this venue the last time we saw him.

Bowling balls are 121mm wide at their widest.