Any good jokes ... ?

[betty swollocks]

 

[Dave7]

A very old joke.......but I just told my neighbour and it was new to him so.......
Bloke goes to the Doctor with a bad stomach and Doc says "you have a worm.....come back tomorrow and bring a banana and a doughnut".
Next day Doc says "drop your trousers and bend over the desk"....then shoves the banana up his bum followed by the doughnut.
Doc tells him to do the same next week and procedure is repeated.
Doc says "next week bring just a banana and a mallet" which he does.
Doc has him bend over then shoves the banana up.... then waits. After a while the worm pops his head out and says "hey, where's me doughnut"? at which point the Doc grabs the mallet and smacks it on the head.

 

[screenman]

 

[screenman]

Oops! that came out larger than I thought it would.

 

[Dave7]

Oops! that came out larger than I thought it would.

Well it WAS a big lunch

 

[colly]

View attachment 428176

Shouldn't that read:

'Stop buying pies' ?

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Once upon a time, there was a horse named Boris.

Boris used to be a famous race horse. He'd won countless trophies, and was famous across the world.

Then, suddenly, at the peak of his career, Boris was involved in a horrible accident. Between races his private jet was hijacked and crashed, and only Boris survived. However, Boris was devastated. His friends, his family, and his colleagues had all been lost on one fell swoop.

"I'll never race again!" he vowed.

So Boris quit his job, and found an old farmer who agreed to take him in. Old Farmer John was his name, and he loved Boris like a son.

However, the incident in Boris' past had led him to a life of recluse. He was fearful that everything would go wrong again, and so he spent every day in the barn.

And Old Farmer John took pity on Boris, and so he decided something.

Every week, Old Farmer John would go onto the town to sell his produce. And every week, he would set aside a small amount of money for Boris.

And every week, he would buy Boris a present, in the hope that one day, he'd be reminded of the wonderful life outside the barn, and he'd be happy again.

One thing he bought Boris was a CD player.

Another was a brand new computer..

But the best thing he ever gave to Boris was this:

Ten gallons of beer.

Let me explain.

On his many trips to town, Old Farmer John would pass a pub. It was called The Fine Race Horse, and among those who drank there, it was famed for having the best beer... In the world.

But it was only a small pub, and as such it wasn't visited by very many people, and it one day went out of business.

And when Old Farmer John heard this, he immediately got up and went into town, and spoke to the old owner. And John agreed to buy all his remaining beer.

And so, John came back from town one day, and gave Boris the beer. He'd never seen Boris so happy. It made his heart rejoice.

And for months, Boris would talk about this beer, and how it was the best gift he'd ever been given.

But one day, Old Farmer John came home with a brand new guitar. And Boris remembered the CD player he'd been given, and he remembered his favourite songs.

And Boris picked up the guitar, and he began to play a song.

And he was good.

And after hearing his song, John went over to Boris and said

"that was the best thing I've ever heard. You should go out into town and see the record company about starting a band!"

At first, Boris was hesitant. But eventually, he decided that Old Farmer John was right. He'd been his barn for so long. But now it was time for him to rise to fame again!

So he packed a few things, and grabbed his guitar and got on the next bus into town.

And on the way, he met a pig.

The pig's name was David, and David could play the drums.

And just like Boris, David the pig was on his way into town trying to make his name as a musician.

So Boris said

"hey, why don't we team up and make a band, after all, we're both animals with a talent. We could be the next big thing!"

And David agreed, and the two of them continued on into town.

At the next stop, a Hen got onto the bus. And her name was Sophie, and Sophie liked to sing.

She knew all the words to all the songs in the world.

And so, Boris the Horse and David the Pig went over to Sophie the Hen and said

"hey, why don't we team up and make a band, after all, we're all animals with a talent. We could be the next big thing!"

And Sophie agreed, and the three of them went to the record store, and started their band.

And they were an instant hit. They became a worldwide phenomenon almost overnight. They scored TV deals and sponsorships, and once again Boris had reached the life of fame.

They toured with all sorts of other famous bands, appearing alongside the likes of The Rolling Stones and Electric Light Orchestra.

And then, one day, they got the biggest deal of their lives.

They got invited to go on a world tour. They would play their music in every country on earth. By the time they were done, the whole world would know their name.

And so, of they went, from one country to the next, playing their music every step of the way.

They played in every city and in every town. And the Horse, the Hen and the Pig became a household name.

And when they got back home, they knew, they had reached the peak of their careers.

And they kept touring, playing in many countries across the globe.

But one day, everything changed.

One day, before they were set to fly out for their next performance, Boris received a phone call from the hospital in his home town.

And he found out that Old Farmer John had passed away.

So he decided to head back home so could bury the man he treated like a father. So he said to Sophie and David

"you go on ahead, I'll be with you in a day or two."

So the pig and the hen went of in their private jet, and Boris the Horse went home to Bury Old Farmer John.

But when he got home, he was in for a shock.

He received a call from his agent, and discovered that the private jet that David and Sophie were on had exploded in a freak accident, and there were no survivors.

And Boris was struck with grief.

For the second time in his life, he had lost everyone he loved.

And he became depressed, and stumbled into his old barn, and decided to take his own life.

But then he saw something that stopped him.

Because in the old barn, was the huge tank that once contained the 10 gallons of beer.

And so, Boris decided that instead of suicide, he would have a few drinks, and would go on and turn his life around.

So Boris goes into town, and sees the pub, The Fine Race Horse, and underneath the sign on the door, he sees another sign, saying "grand re-opening."

And Boris knows that this is where he will have his beers, and forget all his sorrows, and turn his life around.

And so Boris the Horse enters the bar. And the bartender takes a look at him, and he asks








"why the long face?"

 

[Mugshot]

Once upon a time, there was a horse named Boris.

Boris used to be a famous race horse. He'd won countless trophies, and was famous across the world.

Then, suddenly, at the peak of his career, Boris was involved in a horrible accident. Between races his private jet was hijacked and crashed, and only Boris survived. However, Boris was devastated. His friends, his family, and his colleagues had all been lost on one fell swoop.

"I'll never race again!" he vowed.

So Boris quit his job, and found an old farmer who agreed to take him in. Old Farmer John was his name, and he loved Boris like a son.

However, the incident in Boris' past had led him to a life of recluse. He was fearful that everything would go wrong again, and so he spent every day in the barn.

And Old Farmer John took pity on Boris, and so he decided something.

Every week, Old Farmer John would go onto the town to sell his produce. And every week, he would set aside a small amount of money for Boris.

And every week, he would buy Boris a present, in the hope that one day, he'd be reminded of the wonderful life outside the barn, and he'd be happy again.

One thing he bought Boris was a CD player.

Another was a brand new computer..

But the best thing he ever gave to Boris was this:

Ten gallons of beer.

Let me explain.

On his many trips to town, Old Farmer John would pass a pub. It was called The Fine Race Horse, and among those who drank there, it was famed for having the best beer... In the world.

But it was only a small pub, and as such it wasn't visited by very many people, and it one day went out of business.

And when Old Farmer John heard this, he immediately got up and went into town, and spoke to the old owner. And John agreed to buy all his remaining beer.

And so, John came back from town one day, and gave Boris the beer. He'd never seen Boris so happy. It made his heart rejoice.

And for months, Boris would talk about this beer, and how it was the best gift he'd ever been given.

But one day, Old Farmer John came home with a brand new guitar. And Boris remembered the CD player he'd been given, and he remembered his favourite songs.

And Boris picked up the guitar, and he began to play a song.

And he was good.

And after hearing his song, John went over to Boris and said

"that was the best thing I've ever heard. You should go out into town and see the record company about starting a band!"

At first, Boris was hesitant. But eventually, he decided that Old Farmer John was right. He'd been his barn for so long. But now it was time for him to rise to fame again!

So he packed a few things, and grabbed his guitar and got on the next bus into town.

And on the way, he met a pig.

The pig's name was David, and David could play the drums.

And just like Boris, David the pig was on his way into town trying to make his name as a musician.

So Boris said

"hey, why don't we team up and make a band, after all, we're both animals with a talent. We could be the next big thing!"

And David agreed, and the two of them continued on into town.

At the next stop, a Hen got onto the bus. And her name was Sophie, and Sophie liked to sing.

She knew all the words to all the songs in the world.

And so, Boris the Horse and David the Pig went over to Sophie the Hen and said

"hey, why don't we team up and make a band, after all, we're all animals with a talent. We could be the next big thing!"

And Sophie agreed, and the three of them went to the record store, and started their band.

And they were an instant hit. They became a worldwide phenomenon almost overnight. They scored TV deals and sponsorships, and once again Boris had reached the life of fame.

They toured with all sorts of other famous bands, appearing alongside the likes of The Rolling Stones and Electric Light Orchestra.

And then, one day, they got the biggest deal of their lives.

They got invited to go on a world tour. They would play their music in every country on earth. By the time they were done, the whole world would know their name.

And so, of they went, from one country to the next, playing their music every step of the way.

They played in every city and in every town. And the Horse, the Hen and the Pig became a household name.

And when they got back home, they knew, they had reached the peak of their careers.

And they kept touring, playing in many countries across the globe.

But one day, everything changed.

One day, before they were set to fly out for their next performance, Boris received a phone call from the hospital in his home town.

And he found out that Old Farmer John had passed away.

So he decided to head back home so could bury the man he treated like a father. So he said to Sophie and David

"you go on ahead, I'll be with you in a day or two."

So the pig and the hen went of in their private jet, and Boris the Horse went home to Bury Old Farmer John.

But when he got home, he was in for a shock.

He received a call from his agent, and discovered that the private jet that David and Sophie were on had exploded in a freak accident, and there were no survivors.

And Boris was struck with grief.

For the second time in his life, he had lost everyone he loved.

And he became depressed, and stumbled into his old barn, and decided to take his own life.

But then he saw something that stopped him.

Because in the old barn, was the huge tank that once contained the 10 gallons of beer.

And so, Boris decided that instead of suicide, he would have a few drinks, and would go on and turn his life around.

So Boris goes into town, and sees the pub, The Fine Race Horse, and underneath the sign on the door, he sees another sign, saying "grand re-opening."

And Boris knows that this is where he will have his beers, and forget all his sorrows, and turn his life around.

And so Boris the Horse enters the bar. And the bartender takes a look at him, and he asks








"why the long face?"

 

[Salty seadog]

Once upon a time, there was a horse named Boris.

Boris used to be a famous race horse. He'd won countless trophies, and was famous across the world.

Then, suddenly, at the peak of his career, Boris was involved in a horrible accident. Between races his private jet was hijacked and crashed, and only Boris survived. However, Boris was devastated. His friends, his family, and his colleagues had all been lost on one fell swoop.

"I'll never race again!" he vowed.

So Boris quit his job, and found an old farmer who agreed to take him in. Old Farmer John was his name, and he loved Boris like a son.

However, the incident in Boris' past had led him to a life of recluse. He was fearful that everything would go wrong again, and so he spent every day in the barn.

And Old Farmer John took pity on Boris, and so he decided something.

Every week, Old Farmer John would go onto the town to sell his produce. And every week, he would set aside a small amount of money for Boris.

And every week, he would buy Boris a present, in the hope that one day, he'd be reminded of the wonderful life outside the barn, and he'd be happy again.

One thing he bought Boris was a CD player.

Another was a brand new computer..

But the best thing he ever gave to Boris was this:

Ten gallons of beer.

Let me explain.

On his many trips to town, Old Farmer John would pass a pub. It was called The Fine Race Horse, and among those who drank there, it was famed for having the best beer... In the world.

But it was only a small pub, and as such it wasn't visited by very many people, and it one day went out of business.

And when Old Farmer John heard this, he immediately got up and went into town, and spoke to the old owner. And John agreed to buy all his remaining beer.

And so, John came back from town one day, and gave Boris the beer. He'd never seen Boris so happy. It made his heart rejoice.

And for months, Boris would talk about this beer, and how it was the best gift he'd ever been given.

But one day, Old Farmer John came home with a brand new guitar. And Boris remembered the CD player he'd been given, and he remembered his favourite songs.

And Boris picked up the guitar, and he began to play a song.

And he was good.

And after hearing his song, John went over to Boris and said

"that was the best thing I've ever heard. You should go out into town and see the record company about starting a band!"

At first, Boris was hesitant. But eventually, he decided that Old Farmer John was right. He'd been his barn for so long. But now it was time for him to rise to fame again!

So he packed a few things, and grabbed his guitar and got on the next bus into town.

And on the way, he met a pig.

The pig's name was David, and David could play the drums.

And just like Boris, David the pig was on his way into town trying to make his name as a musician.

So Boris said

"hey, why don't we team up and make a band, after all, we're both animals with a talent. We could be the next big thing!"

And David agreed, and the two of them continued on into town.

At the next stop, a Hen got onto the bus. And her name was Sophie, and Sophie liked to sing.

She knew all the words to all the songs in the world.

And so, Boris the Horse and David the Pig went over to Sophie the Hen and said

"hey, why don't we team up and make a band, after all, we're all animals with a talent. We could be the next big thing!"

And Sophie agreed, and the three of them went to the record store, and started their band.

And they were an instant hit. They became a worldwide phenomenon almost overnight. They scored TV deals and sponsorships, and once again Boris had reached the life of fame.

They toured with all sorts of other famous bands, appearing alongside the likes of The Rolling Stones and Electric Light Orchestra.

And then, one day, they got the biggest deal of their lives.

They got invited to go on a world tour. They would play their music in every country on earth. By the time they were done, the whole world would know their name.

And so, of they went, from one country to the next, playing their music every step of the way.

They played in every city and in every town. And the Horse, the Hen and the Pig became a household name.

And when they got back home, they knew, they had reached the peak of their careers.

And they kept touring, playing in many countries across the globe.

But one day, everything changed.

One day, before they were set to fly out for their next performance, Boris received a phone call from the hospital in his home town.

And he found out that Old Farmer John had passed away.

So he decided to head back home so could bury the man he treated like a father. So he said to Sophie and David

"you go on ahead, I'll be with you in a day or two."

So the pig and the hen went of in their private jet, and Boris the Horse went home to Bury Old Farmer John.

But when he got home, he was in for a shock.

He received a call from his agent, and discovered that the private jet that David and Sophie were on had exploded in a freak accident, and there were no survivors.

And Boris was struck with grief.

For the second time in his life, he had lost everyone he loved.

And he became depressed, and stumbled into his old barn, and decided to take his own life.

But then he saw something that stopped him.

Because in the old barn, was the huge tank that once contained the 10 gallons of beer.

And so, Boris decided that instead of suicide, he would have a few drinks, and would go on and turn his life around.

So Boris goes into town, and sees the pub, The Fine Race Horse, and underneath the sign on the door, he sees another sign, saying "grand re-opening."

And Boris knows that this is where he will have his beers, and forget all his sorrows, and turn his life around.

And so Boris the Horse enters the bar. And the bartender takes a look at him, and he asks








"why the long face?"

Go to your room......

 

[Seevio]

Once upon a time, there was a horse named Boris.

Boris used to be a famous race horse. He'd won countless trophies, and was famous across the world.

Then, suddenly, at the peak of his career, Boris was involved in a horrible accident. Between races his private jet was hijacked and crashed, and only Boris survived. However, Boris was devastated. His friends, his family, and his colleagues had all been lost on one fell swoop.

"I'll never race again!" he vowed.

So Boris quit his job, and found an old farmer who agreed to take him in. Old Farmer John was his name, and he loved Boris like a son.

However, the incident in Boris' past had led him to a life of recluse. He was fearful that everything would go wrong again, and so he spent every day in the barn.

And Old Farmer John took pity on Boris, and so he decided something.

Every week, Old Farmer John would go onto the town to sell his produce. And every week, he would set aside a small amount of money for Boris.

And every week, he would buy Boris a present, in the hope that one day, he'd be reminded of the wonderful life outside the barn, and he'd be happy again.

One thing he bought Boris was a CD player.

Another was a brand new computer..

But the best thing he ever gave to Boris was this:

Ten gallons of beer.

Let me explain.

On his many trips to town, Old Farmer John would pass a pub. It was called The Fine Race Horse, and among those who drank there, it was famed for having the best beer... In the world.

But it was only a small pub, and as such it wasn't visited by very many people, and it one day went out of business.

And when Old Farmer John heard this, he immediately got up and went into town, and spoke to the old owner. And John agreed to buy all his remaining beer.

And so, John came back from town one day, and gave Boris the beer. He'd never seen Boris so happy. It made his heart rejoice.

And for months, Boris would talk about this beer, and how it was the best gift he'd ever been given.

But one day, Old Farmer John came home with a brand new guitar. And Boris remembered the CD player he'd been given, and he remembered his favourite songs.

And Boris picked up the guitar, and he began to play a song.

And he was good.

And after hearing his song, John went over to Boris and said

"that was the best thing I've ever heard. You should go out into town and see the record company about starting a band!"

At first, Boris was hesitant. But eventually, he decided that Old Farmer John was right. He'd been his barn for so long. But now it was time for him to rise to fame again!

So he packed a few things, and grabbed his guitar and got on the next bus into town.

And on the way, he met a pig.

The pig's name was David, and David could play the drums.

And just like Boris, David the pig was on his way into town trying to make his name as a musician.

So Boris said

"hey, why don't we team up and make a band, after all, we're both animals with a talent. We could be the next big thing!"

And David agreed, and the two of them continued on into town.

At the next stop, a Hen got onto the bus. And her name was Sophie, and Sophie liked to sing.

She knew all the words to all the songs in the world.

And so, Boris the Horse and David the Pig went over to Sophie the Hen and said

"hey, why don't we team up and make a band, after all, we're all animals with a talent. We could be the next big thing!"

And Sophie agreed, and the three of them went to the record store, and started their band.

And they were an instant hit. They became a worldwide phenomenon almost overnight. They scored TV deals and sponsorships, and once again Boris had reached the life of fame.

They toured with all sorts of other famous bands, appearing alongside the likes of The Rolling Stones and Electric Light Orchestra.

And then, one day, they got the biggest deal of their lives.

They got invited to go on a world tour. They would play their music in every country on earth. By the time they were done, the whole world would know their name.

And so, of they went, from one country to the next, playing their music every step of the way.

They played in every city and in every town. And the Horse, the Hen and the Pig became a household name.

And when they got back home, they knew, they had reached the peak of their careers.

And they kept touring, playing in many countries across the globe.

But one day, everything changed.

One day, before they were set to fly out for their next performance, Boris received a phone call from the hospital in his home town.

And he found out that Old Farmer John had passed away.

So he decided to head back home so could bury the man he treated like a father. So he said to Sophie and David

"you go on ahead, I'll be with you in a day or two."

So the pig and the hen went of in their private jet, and Boris the Horse went home to Bury Old Farmer John.

But when he got home, he was in for a shock.

He received a call from his agent, and discovered that the private jet that David and Sophie were on had exploded in a freak accident, and there were no survivors.

And Boris was struck with grief.

For the second time in his life, he had lost everyone he loved.

And he became depressed, and stumbled into his old barn, and decided to take his own life.

But then he saw something that stopped him.

Because in the old barn, was the huge tank that once contained the 10 gallons of beer.

And so, Boris decided that instead of suicide, he would have a few drinks, and would go on and turn his life around.

So Boris goes into town, and sees the pub, The Fine Race Horse, and underneath the sign on the door, he sees another sign, saying "grand re-opening."

And Boris knows that this is where he will have his beers, and forget all his sorrows, and turn his life around.

And so Boris the Horse enters the bar. And the bartender takes a look at him, and he asks








"why the long face?"

From my admittedly flawed memory of The Divine Comedy, the third circle of hell is reserved for those who manage to stretch a "****** walks into a bar" joke into several paragraphs. Congratulations sir, a truly awful joke is also an art form.

 

[Cavalol]

A woman went to the doctors and told him she felt like a run down seaside town. He examined her and said 'I know what's wrong with you, you're Rhyl'.

 

[EltonFrog]

A REALLY REALLY bad joke.

A guy goes into a pet shop and asks "how much do your wasps cost"
Owner says "we dont sell wasps".
Guy says..... "well you have them in your window".

May I refer you to post 1761 3rd July 2014. Still, it was nice to read that gag again.

 

[Dave7]

May I refer you to post 1761 3rd July 2014. Still, it was nice to read that gag again.

Now 'fess up. Did you honestly remember that joke was posted over 4 years ago or did you go searching to check it ??

 

[AndyRM]

One day the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse knocked on the gate of the king of Englands Castle.

A few moments later a guard answered, he looked at the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse and said "This is the castle of the king of England who are you?".

The Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse got down off his horse and said "I am the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse, and I want to see the King"

The guard looked at him for a while and said "Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse, I will ask the king if he will grant you an audience".

The guard went through the castle and to the kings throne room. "King of England" he said "The Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse is here to see you". The king turned to the guard and said "Tell the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse that he may speak with me".

The guard returned to the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse and said "Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse, the king has allowed you to see him, follow me".

So the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse followed the guard to the throne room and went and stood befor the king.

"Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse what is it that you want from me" said the King. The Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse bowed before the king and said "I the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse have come to ask for you daughters hand in Marriage".

The king sat quietly to ponder the knights request for a few minutes and then said "Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse I will grant you my daughters hand in marriage if you get me the Shield of Glory from my Enemy the King of Wales".

The red and white knight on a black and white horse replied "I the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse will fetch you the sheild of Glory and then return for you daughter".

The Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse then left the castle and remounted on his trusty steed.

The Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse spent many weeks traveling to the King of Wales castle but finally arrived.

when he arrivd Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse knocked on the gate of the king of Wales Castle.

A few moments later a guard answered, he looked at the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse and said "This is the castle of the king of wales who are you?".

The Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse got down off his horse and said "I am the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse, and I want to see the King"

The guard looked at him for a while and said "Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse, I will ask the king if he will grant you an audience".

The guard went through the castle and to the kings throne room. "King of Wales" he said "The Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse is here to see you". The king turned to the guard and said "Tell the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse that he may speak with me".

The guard returned to the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse and said "Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse, the king has allowed you to see him, follow me".

So the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse followed the guard to the throne room and went and stood before the king.

"Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse what is it that you want from me" said the King. The Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse bowed before the king and said "I the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse have come to ask for you for the Sheild of Glory".

The king sat quietly to ponder the knights request for a few minutes and then said "Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse I give you the Sheild of Glory If you get me the sword of might from my enemy the King of Scotland".

The red and white knight on a black and white horse replied "I the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse will fetch you the Sword of Might In exchange for the Sheild of Glory".

The Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse then left the castle and remounted on his trusty steed.

The Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse spent many weeks traveling to the King of Scotlands castle but finally arrived.

when he finally arrived the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse knocked on the gate of the king of Scotlands Castle.

A few moments later a guard answered, he looked at the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse and said "This is the castle of the king of Scotland who are you?".

The Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse got down off his horse and said "I am the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse, and I want to see the King"

The guard looked at him for a while and said "Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse, I will ask the king if he will grant you an audience".

The guard went through the castle and to the kings throne room. "King of Scotland" he said "The Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse is here to see you". The king turned to the guard and said "Tell the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse that he may speak with me".

The guard returned to the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse and said "Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse, the king has allowed you to see him, follow me".

So the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse followed the guard to the throne room and went and stood before the king.

"Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse what is it that you want from me" said the King. The Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse bowed before the king and said "I the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse have come to ask for the sword of might".

The king sat quietly to ponder the knights request for a few minutes and then said "Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse I will give you the sword of might if you fetch me the helm of power from my enemy the king of Ireland".

The red and white knight on a black and white horse replied "I the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse will fetch you the helm of power in exchange for the sword of might".

The Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse then left the castle and remounted on his trusty steed.

The Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse spent many weeks traveling to the King of Irelands castle but finally arrived.

One day the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse knocked on the gate of the king of Irelands Castle.

A few moments later a guard answered, he looked at the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse and said "This is the castle of the king of Ireland who are you?".

The Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse got down off his horse and said "I am the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse, and I want to see the King"

The guard looked at him for a while and said "Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse, I will ask the king if he will grant you an audience".

The guard went through the castle and to the kings throne room. "King of Ireland" he said "The Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse is here to see you". The king turned to the guard and said "Tell the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse that he may speak with me".

The guard returned to the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse and said "Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse, the king has allowed you to see him, follow me".

So the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse followed the guard to the throne room and went and stood befor the king.

"Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse what is it that you want from me" said the King. The Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse bowed before the king and said "I the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse have come to ask for the Helm of Power".

The king sat quietly to ponder the knights request for a few minutes and then said "Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse I will will give you my helm but only if you slay the Black and Blue Dragon with Green and Pink wings".

The red and white knight on a black and white horse replied "I the Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse will slay the Black and Blue dragon with the green and pink wings".

The Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse then left the castle and remounted on his trusty steed.

The Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse travelled south to the lair of the Black and blue Dragon with the Green and pink wings.

After fighting for several days with the Black and Blue dragon with the Blue and Pink wings, The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse finally slew the beast.

The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse travelled all the way back to the King of Irelands castle.

When he arrived he knocked on the gate. A few minutes later the guard appeared. "Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse, have you completed your quest?".

The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse replied "I The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse have defeated the Evil Black and Blue Dragon with the green and pink wings, and wish to see the king".

"Follow me" then said the guard, and he led The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse to the kings throne room.

The king looked at The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse and said "Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse, have you slain the evil Black and blue Dragon with the Green and Pink wings?"

"Yes I The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse have slain the dragon" said the knight.

"Then here is the Helm of Power" and the king gave the helm of power to The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse.

The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse left the Castle of the King of Ireland and and set off back to the king of scotlands Castle.

When he arrived he knocked on the gate. A few minutes later the guard appeared. "Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse, have you completed your quest?".

The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse replied "I The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse have the helm of power, and wish to see the king".

"Follow me" then said the guard, and he led The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse to the kings throne room.

The king looked at The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse and said "Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse, have you got the helm of power?"

"Yes I The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse have the helm of power.

"Then here is the sword of might" and the king gave the sword of might to The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse.

The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse left the Castle of the King of scotland and and set off back to the king of wales Castle.

When he arrived he knocked on the gate. A few minutes later the guard appeared. "Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse, have you completed your quest?".

The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse replied "I The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse have the Sword of Might, and wish to see the king".

"Follow me" then said the guard, and he led The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse to the kings throne room.

The king looked at The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse and said "Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse, do you have the Sword of might?"

"Yes I The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse have the Sword of might.

"Then here is the Sheild of Glory" and the king gave the Sheild of glory to The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse.

The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse left the Castle of the King of Wales and and set off back to the king of Englands Castle.

When he arrived he knocked on the gate. A few minutes later the guard appeared. "Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse, have you completed your quest?".

The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse replied "I The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse have the Sheild of Glory, and wish to see the king".

"Follow me" then said the guard, and he led The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse to the kings throne room.

The king looked at The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse and said "Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse, Do you have the shield of Glory?"

"Yes I The Red and White Knight on a Black and White horse have slain the evil dragon to get the Helm of Power to get the Sword of Might to get the Shield of Glory, so can I now marry you daughter".

And the King replied "No".

 

[EltonFrog]

Now 'fess up. Did you honestly remember that joke was posted over 4 years ago or did you go searching to check it ??

I remembered that I posted it a while back but not when, I searched and was surprised to see how far back it was.