Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.
DaveReading
Don't suffer fools gladly (must try harder!)
- Location
- Reading, obvs
That joke only works in England, relying on the fact that the English can't speak properly. 
twentysix by twentyfive
Clinging on tightly
- Location
- Over the Hill
An echo is a sound that is repeated when the sound waves are reflected back - I never thought I'd hear myself saying that.
Chris S
Legendary Member
- Location
- Birmingham
To quote Bob Monkhouse, "People laughed when I told them I was going to become a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now."
D
Deleted member 26715
Guest
A lady lost her purse in a bustling department store. She searched everywhere she had visited, but just couldn't find it.
Finally, a little boy approached her and asked, "Mrs, is this your purse?"
Jubilantly, she grabbed the purse and cried, "Yes! Yes, it is! Thank you so much!"
Then she looked inside and was suddenly confused.
"But how strange... when I lost it, I had only two £50 notes, but now I have ten £10 notes!"
The boy replied, "That's because the last time I returned a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for my reward!"
Finally, a little boy approached her and asked, "Mrs, is this your purse?"
Jubilantly, she grabbed the purse and cried, "Yes! Yes, it is! Thank you so much!"
Then she looked inside and was suddenly confused.
"But how strange... when I lost it, I had only two £50 notes, but now I have ten £10 notes!"
The boy replied, "That's because the last time I returned a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for my reward!"
D
Deleted member 26715
Guest
By coincidence my Bro sent me that a few days ago......very funny.
D
Deleted member 26715
Guest
Christopher Robin has just been released
- Location
- Next door to Mr Benn at No 54
Andrew_P
In between here and there
A magician was working on a cruise ship.
Since the audience was different each week, the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem:
The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the Magician did every trick.
Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" Or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the Captain's parrot.
Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank.
The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it ... With the parrot.
They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.
This went on for a day... And then 2 days. And then 3 days. Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said..
"Okay, I give up. Where's the ship??
Since the audience was different each week, the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem:
The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the Magician did every trick.
Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" Or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the Captain's parrot.
Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank.
The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it ... With the parrot.
They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.
This went on for a day... And then 2 days. And then 3 days. Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said..
"Okay, I give up. Where's the ship??
srw
It's a bit more complicated than that...
To be honest I'm surprised we've only had it once before. And before anyone gets ideas, the "orange thing that sounds like a parrot" joke has come round very regularly.
