Mr Celine
Discordian
- Location
- Waxing my moustache
During the recent cold snap I asked my wife to put salt on the steps.
All I got was an icy stare.
All I got was an icy stare.
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.
betty swollocks
large member
Q: What keeps Spain from buying Christmas socks that match?
A: Matalan separatists.
A: Matalan separatists.
betty swollocks
large member
Q: How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus's birth weight?
A: They had a weigh in a manger.
A: They had a weigh in a manger.
flake99please
We all scream for ice cream
- Location
- Edinburgh
Apparently it's impossible to eat 4 dry crackers in one minute. I'm always up for a challenge so I gave it a go.
I managed three before I choked on a plastic moustache.
I managed three before I choked on a plastic moustache.
betty swollocks
large member
A friend of mine was so hungry yesterday, he ate all the Xmas tree decorations.
He's now gone down with tinselitis.
He's now gone down with tinselitis.
betty swollocks
large member
Q: Where does Father Christmas like to enjoy a mixture of badminton, cycling, horse-riding and subtropical swimming?
A: Santa Parcs.
A: Santa Parcs.
Smokin Joe
Squire
- Location
- Bare headed cyclist, Smoker
Someone got a box of Christmas crackers, then.
I hope they werent expensive
further
Guru
- Location
- Glastonbury Somerset
For the guitarists among us
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
Not a joke but it just reminded me of walking past my son' bedroom door to hear him snorting and guffawing out loud. I wandered in to see him playing Call of Duty and on screen was a prone, dead opponent, my son' character was squatted over opponents head, hips rocking.
WTF I asked ?
Teabagging him...the ultimate insult
, replied my son .
ClichéGuevara
Legendary Member
- Location
- Kingston upon the River Hull
I had a job interview today, but I hope I don't get it. They seem a bit thick.
They wanted to find out something about my personality so they asked "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?" "Daft question", I said "The living one, obviously"
They wanted to find out something about my personality so they asked "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?" "Daft question", I said "The living one, obviously"
A tough old cowboy from south texas counseled
his granddaughter that if she wanted to live
a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch
of gun powder on her oatmeal every morning.
The granddaughter did this religiously to the
age of 103 when she died.
She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren,
45 great-grandchildren,
25 great-great-grandchildren,
and a 15-foot hole where the crematorium used to be.
his granddaughter that if she wanted to live
a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch
of gun powder on her oatmeal every morning.
The granddaughter did this religiously to the
age of 103 when she died.
She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren,
45 great-grandchildren,
25 great-great-grandchildren,
and a 15-foot hole where the crematorium used to be.
- Location
- Somewhere wet & hilly in NW England.
Mod note:
Drawing a line under the scrotum etc jokes here following a number of member complaints.
Drawing a line under the scrotum etc jokes here following a number of member complaints.
