Any good jokes ... ?

[TVC]

Restrict your children to just a few minutes internet time each day by enabling Microsoft Windows updates.

 

[Alan Frame]

The new male contraceptive pill has now been introduced following successful clinical trials.
You place it in your shoe and it makes you limp.

 

[morrisman]

A group of clowns rent furnished flats in London, but are annoyed to discover they haven't been provided with ironing boards. So they go to complain to their landlord.

"It's in the contract," says the landlord. "You lot have to use your window sills. Every clown has a sill for ironing."

 

[morrisman]

Patient: "I'm as tired and depressed as a Welsh seaside resort in the middle of winter".

Doctor: "Sounds like you're Rhyl....."

 

[welsh dragon]

I love my pillow because it gives me a different hairstyle every day.

 

[welsh dragon]

A friend of mine was stopped by a policeman. The policeman said to my friend. " do you know how fast you were going". My friend said "obviously not fast enough, because you caught me".

 

[betty swollocks]

A group of clowns rent furnished flats in London, but are annoyed to discover they haven't been provided with ironing boards. So they go to complain to their landlord.

"It's in the contract," says the landlord. "You lot have to use your window sills. Every clown has a sill for ironing."

That's class.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

I cannot believe that in this day and age that wearing underwear in the garden would offend so many people...admittedly it wasn't my garden or my underwear.

 

[welsh dragon]

What do you call a fat psychic?

A four-chin teller.

 

[JtB]

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.

What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer?

Father-in-law.

What do you call a teacher with no arms, no legs and no body?

The head.

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?

Phillipe Flop.

 

[rikki]

I cannot believe that in this day and age that wearing underwear in the garden would offend so many people...admittedly it wasn't my garden or my underwear.

I just wish that they would stop calling it "women's underwear". It's not women's underwear, it's my underwear!

 

[Inertia]

Disclaimer, I'm quite sure this is an old one but Id never seen it

 

[AndyRM]

How did the hipster burn himself drinking coffee?

Because he drank it before it was cool.

 

[Markymark]

Go to google maps and type in

Gob shites

The press search and see where you are taken to.

 

[Profpointy]

Go to google maps and type in

Gob shites

The press search and see where you are taken to.

very good !