Chris S
Legendary Member
- Location
- Birmingham
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.
Smokin Joe
Squire
- Location
- Bare headed cyclist, Smoker
My girlfriend was really worried over the weekend because she had to take her car in for a service today. She thought because she was blonde and from Essex the garage would rip her off. When she came home tonight she had relief written all over her face.
"They were very fair, I was worried over nothing", she trilled happily. "All they charged me for was five litres of indicator fluid".
"They were very fair, I was worried over nothing", she trilled happily. "All they charged me for was five litres of indicator fluid".
Seevio
Guru
- Location
- South Glos
If you're dating a dominatrix, never ever suggest it's time to hit the sack.
Andy_R
Hard of hearing..I said Herd of Herring..oh FFS..
- Location
- County Durham
welsh dragon
Thanks but no thanks. I think I'll pass.
A report by the BBC news today said that a school teacher from the UK was arresred at JF Kennedy airport yesteday, when he was found to be carrying ruler, protractor a compass and a slide rule.
Today a spokesman for the FBI announced that the man has now been accused of being a member of the outlawed group called Al-Gebra. He has been charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
President Trump said " if god had wanted us to have these kinds of weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes".
White house aids said they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the president.
Today a spokesman for the FBI announced that the man has now been accused of being a member of the outlawed group called Al-Gebra. He has been charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
President Trump said " if god had wanted us to have these kinds of weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes".
White house aids said they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the president.
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
Maverick Goose
A jumped up pantry boy, who never knew his place
- Location
- A champagne supernova in the sky
A guy cycled past me yesterday and his shorts had the slogan 'DONG ENERGY' on them in big letters....
Welsh wheels
Lycra king
- Location
- South Wales
I brought one of those tapes to teach you Spanish in your sleep. During the night, the tape skipped. Now I can only stutter in Spanish.
subaqua
What’s the point
- Location
- Leytonstone
whats funnier is that algebra is an arabic invention. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muhammad_ibn_Musa_al-Khwarizmi#Algebra
Threevok
Growing old disgracefully
- Location
- South Wales
Not sure if this one's been posted on here but I saw it on FB yesterday
"If you had a choice between your dream bike, and your dream girl - what forks would you put on it ?"
"If you had a choice between your dream bike, and your dream girl - what forks would you put on it ?"
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
Saw this on Facebook and it made me chuckle.
Ronald Reagan had a collection of jokes about Russians - this was the best one, IMO.
A Russian man wants to buy a new car and goes to the dealer. He sees a car he likes, pays for it up front and is told that he can collect his car in exactly 10 years time.
'Morning or afternoon?' the man asks.
'Ten years from now, what difference does it make?' replies the salesman.
'Well,' says the man, 'the plumber's coming in the morning.'
Ronald Reagan had a collection of jokes about Russians - this was the best one, IMO.
A Russian man wants to buy a new car and goes to the dealer. He sees a car he likes, pays for it up front and is told that he can collect his car in exactly 10 years time.
'Morning or afternoon?' the man asks.
'Ten years from now, what difference does it make?' replies the salesman.
'Well,' says the man, 'the plumber's coming in the morning.'
ClichéGuevara
Legendary Member
- Location
- Kingston upon the River Hull
Have you been hit by a rhythm stick?
You could be entitled to compensation.
Call Personal Ian Dury lawyers on...
You could be entitled to compensation.
Call Personal Ian Dury lawyers on...
welsh dragon
Thanks but no thanks. I think I'll pass.
Seen on facebook
I wish I was a glow worm
A glow worm's never glum
Cos how can you be gloomy
When the sun shines out your bum.
I wish I was a glow worm
A glow worm's never glum
Cos how can you be gloomy
When the sun shines out your bum.
Cubist
Still wavin'
- Location
- Ovver 'thill
1980s Russian jokes?Saw this on Facebook and it made me chuckle.
Ronald Reagan had a collection of jokes about Russians - this was the best one, IMO.
A Russian man wants to buy a new car and goes to the dealer. He sees a car he likes, pays for it up front and is told that he can collect his car in exactly 10 years time.
'Morning or afternoon?' the man asks.
'Ten years from now, what difference does it make?' replies the salesman.
'Well,' says the man, 'the plumber's coming in the morning.'
What's three streets long and eats cabbage?
A Russian meat queue.
"Comrade minister for agriculture, how was the potato harvest?"
"If the potatos were piled up they would reach up to feet of God comrade Secretary"
"But comrade, every good citizen knows there is no God!"
"Indeed comrade, there are no farking potatos either!"
That is SO bad, I loved it!
