Any good jokes ... ?

[PaulB]

I've been weighing up the pros and cons of moving to Switzerland.

Their flag is a big plus.

OY! I did that about three weeks ago on here!

 

[Doseone]

OY! I did that about three weeks ago on here!

Sorry Paul, this thread is so long I usually only read a page or so!

 

[Bollo]

My volume is 4/3 x Pi x r cubed.

It's just how I roll.

 

[Scoosh]

I'm giving up

t​

for Len

 

[flake99please]

I accidentally dropped my phone in the sink the other day, so I placed it in a bag of rice in the airing cupboard to dry out. Unfortunately It has wiped all my contacts, except Uncle Bens.

 

[flake99please]

I grew up in a rough neighbourhood. Back then the other kids would attack me with squirty cream and then plant cherrys on my head.

Life was tough in the gateaux..

 

[flake99please]

I do not have an obsession with tidiness. I just wanted to clear that up.

 

[flake99please]

I think a lot of the conflict that happened in the Wild West could’ve been avoided had architects in those days just made their towns big enough for everyone.

 

[mrcunning]

My wife asked me to bring home some stuff for the pancakes,
She wasn't happy when I came home with a push up bra..

 

[bruce1530]

Can't believe it's Pancake day already..
Honestly it just crêped up on me....

 

[Hitchington]

Just told my mate a joke about Eskimos... but Inuit already.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Dr told me today I'm colourblind. Well, that came right out of the purple.

 

[cosmicbike]

Whats green and goes up and down?

Greengage in a lift

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Whats green and goes up and down?

Greengage in a lift

Wrong - it's a Gooseberry

 

[Cubist]

Wrong - it's a Gooseberry

No, that's what is green and hairy and goes up and down......