Any good jokes ... ?

[Andy_R]

What do you call a monkey with a hand grenade?

A baboom..

 

[TVC]

What goes black, white, black, white, black, white, black.....


A nun rolling down a hill.

 

[Mr Celine]

What's black and white and can't turn round in a lift?



A nun with a spear through her head.

 

[AndyRM]

This only really works if you say it...

What's black and white and read all over?

A newspaper.

 

[Deleted member 26715]

This only really works if you say it...

What's black and white and read all over?

A newspaper.

No its a penguin with a suntan

 

[TVC]

Why don't Polar Bears eat Penguins?

Because they can't get the wrappers off.

 

[Deleted member 26715]

Why do elephants have big ears?

Because Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom

 

[cosmicbike]

How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed?

'Cos your nose is touching the ceiling.

 

[Cubist]

whats black and white and goes round and round screaming? Nun on a spit.

 

[wheresthetorch]

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

 

[Cubist]

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

My local curry house has started serving Chicken Tarka. It's like Chicken Tikka, but a little otter.

 

[Cubist]

Apparently there was a bit of unrest outside the Shah Jihan restaurant the other night. The locals started throwing samosas and bhajis at the police, and that was just for starters.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, then it was too late.

 

[postman]

If you had to choose between your partner or one million pounds,what would be the first thing you bought.

 

[flake99please]

Tomorrow is international wear your hair like a Jamaican day.

I'm dreading it...