Any good jokes ... ?

[Cubist]

A Roman legionary walks into a tavern and holds up two fingers
"5 pints please, barman"

Guy walks into a pub and holds up two fingers. "Five pints please barman",
Barman says " Thirsty work at the sawmill John?"

 

[bruce1530]

A roman centurion walks into the pub and says “Can I have a Martinus”

The barman says “Don’t you mean a Martini”

The centurion says “If I’d wanted a double, I’d have asked for one”

 

[glenn forger]

I went to a psychic today and asked her if I was gonna go to prison in the future….. She said no so I mugged her.

 

[T4tomo]

Which cyclist is paranoid about being overtaken?




Everyone favorite Eritrean, Daniel Checkbehindalot.

I'll get me coat....

 

[TVC]

I could tell it was a Monopoly board from the word go.

 

[postman]

Grandad will you do me your frog impression and make me rich.I can't do frog sounds.Yes you can mummy said when you croak,we'll all be rich.

 

[Hitchington]

The wife said she'd like me to make love to her over the bonnet of her Honda Civic.

I never would have thought of doing that on my own Accord.

 

[mrcunning]

my mother in law came to our front door in the pouring rain ...i opened the door and said ..dont stand out there in the rain .... go home .

 

[Smokin Joe]

FOR THE ATTENTION OF ANYONE INTERESTED IN TIME TRAVEL:

The Cycle Chat Time Travel Group will be giving a talk on the subject, 7:30pm last Wednesday.

 

[Andy_R]

FOR THE ATTENTION OF ANYONE INTERESTED IN TIME TRAVEL:

The Cycle Chat Time Travel Group will be giving a talk on the subject, 7:30pm last Wednesday.

The group's chant goes something like:

What do want?
A Time machine
When do we want it?
Doesn't matter.

 

[AndyRM]

 

[TVC]

'I can't find my razor, aliens must have stolen it' - Occam.






Credit to Gary Delaney.

 

[AndyRM]

 

[TwickenhamCyclist]

I could tell it was a Monopoly board from the word go.

You should go to jail for that one... directly to jail...

 

[TheDoctor]

View attachment 144029

Get your coat and go ohm!