Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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ayceejay
Guru
- Location
- Rural Quebec
Yeah but they don't want the b*stard back.
martint235
Dog on a bike
- Location
- Welling
Yeah he spends money. Sets a bad example.***
***With many, many apologies for making fun from probably the worst dictator currently alive.
machew
Veteran
machew
Veteran
You have spelt his name wrong. It's Mugabe
Cubist
Still wavin'
- Location
- Ovver 'thill
I'll spare his blushes by not naming him, but those in the know will be able to piece together who he was. Picture the scene, we're in Yates' Bar in Halifax in the mid ninetees on a work night out. A new guy has joined our team, an England Rugby cap, British Lion and now professional League player. I'm near to the end of the bar and this colleague and a mate have sidled up to a pair of pretty lasses standing next to me at the bar waiting to be served. The rugby player comes out with some cheesy chat up line to which one of the girls says "Who are you?". He replies "I'm [name redacted], England and Great Britain rugby." To which she replied. "Never heard of you. I farkin hate rugby."
marknotgeorge
Hol den Vorschlaghammer!
- Location
- Derby.
Sorry to go all Anti-Joke Chicken, but 'losing my religion' is Georgian for losing one's rag, and thus only marginally related to omnipotent beings and lack of belief thereof.
I can tell you're impressed.
betty swollocks
large member
subaqua
What’s the point
- Location
- Leytonstone
CharlieB
Junior Walker and the Allstars
- Location
- Therivermeadowatthepileofstones
Heard about the new supermarket chain called 'Moderation'?
They've got everything.
They've got everything.
glenn forger
Guest
Trump says "Ban muslims!" but if prohibition taught us anything people will just make muslims in bathtubs.
TwickenhamCyclist
Guest
How does he smell?
subaqua
What’s the point
- Location
- Leytonstone
Citing committees
TwickenhamCyclist
Guest
Cut n pasted from the interweb so it must be true...
A crowded United Airlines flight had just been canceled, and a single agent was rebooking a long line of very inconvenienced and frustrated travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk in front of all the others. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, “I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS.”
The agent replied, “I’m sorry sir. I’ll be happy to try to help you, but I’ve got to help these folks first, and I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out.”
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that all the passengers behind him could hear, “Do you have any idea who I am?”
Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled warmly and grabbed her public address microphone. “May I have your attention please?” she began, her voice bellowing throughout the entire terminal. “We seem to have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come forward to the gate.”
With the folks behind him in line now laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth, and spat out the words, “F… you.”
Without flinching in the least, the agent smiled politely and said, “I’m terribly sorry, sir, but I’m afraid that you’ll have to stand in line for that, too.”
