Hitchington
Lovely stuff
- Location
- That London
Yeah, but what's there Toulouse by posting terrible sausage puns?
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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Maverick Goose
A jumped up pantry boy, who never knew his place
- Location
- A champagne supernova in the sky
What have things Cum-berland to?
Thor, God of Thunder, began to feel the need for some earthly pleasures and so transformed himself back to his earthly form to go in search of a willing woman. Being a rather chiselled chap, it wasn't long before he found a comely woman with the same carnal desires and they they both satiated those desires in the extreme.
Once done, Thor, feeling rather Godlike after such satisfaction, stood up and pronounced, arms outstretched, " I AM THOR......" to which the woman rather peevishly replied, " Your thaw. I'm, tho thaw I can't pith!"
I'd like to thank the 1980's for that joke, cleaned up for the 21st century. It's about the only one I ever remember
Once done, Thor, feeling rather Godlike after such satisfaction, stood up and pronounced, arms outstretched, " I AM THOR......" to which the woman rather peevishly replied, " Your thaw. I'm, tho thaw I can't pith!"
I'd like to thank the 1980's for that joke, cleaned up for the 21st century. It's about the only one I ever remember
Smokin Joe
Squire
- Location
- Bare headed cyclist, Smoker
After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were amazed to find that the Titanic's swimming pool was still full.
One Monday morning the postman was walking through the village on his usual route delivering the mail.
As he approached one of the homes, he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway.
This was because the homeowners were normally on their way to work at this time
His curiosity was cut short by Craig, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer, wine and spirit bottles for the recycling bin.
"Wow Craig, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night"’
the Postman commented.
Craig, in obvious pain, replied,
‘Actually we had it Saturday night.
This is the first time I have felt like moving since 4 am Sunday morning.
We had about 15 couples from around the village over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild.
We all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing
WHO AM I?’
The Postman thought for a moment and said,
‘How do you play WHO AM I?’
‘Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and come out one at a time covered with a sheet with only the ‘family jewels’ showing through a hole in the sheet.
Then the women try to guess who it is..’
The postman laughed and said,
‘Sounds like fun, I’m sorry I missed it.’
‘Probably a good thing you did,’
Craig responded,
‘Your name came up seven times.’
As he approached one of the homes, he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway.
This was because the homeowners were normally on their way to work at this time
His curiosity was cut short by Craig, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer, wine and spirit bottles for the recycling bin.
"Wow Craig, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night"’
the Postman commented.
Craig, in obvious pain, replied,
‘Actually we had it Saturday night.
This is the first time I have felt like moving since 4 am Sunday morning.
We had about 15 couples from around the village over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild.
We all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing
WHO AM I?’
The Postman thought for a moment and said,
‘How do you play WHO AM I?’
‘Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and come out one at a time covered with a sheet with only the ‘family jewels’ showing through a hole in the sheet.
Then the women try to guess who it is..’
The postman laughed and said,
‘Sounds like fun, I’m sorry I missed it.’
‘Probably a good thing you did,’
Craig responded,
‘Your name came up seven times.’
This is a true story (allegedly) in a TV interview about fame
The young up and coming singer was travelling to do a show abroad, and accompanying a well known and famous actress
The famous actress stated that she would get them an upgrade to first class, and approached the desk, stating her demands
The young girl on the desk refused, at which point the actress asked "Do you know who I am?"
Girl on desk, simply answered "Yes" and carried on
The young singer says it taught her a lesson about assuming that because you were "famous" that it actually had any real value or meaning
The young up and coming singer was travelling to do a show abroad, and accompanying a well known and famous actress
The famous actress stated that she would get them an upgrade to first class, and approached the desk, stating her demands
The young girl on the desk refused, at which point the actress asked "Do you know who I am?"
Girl on desk, simply answered "Yes" and carried on
The young singer says it taught her a lesson about assuming that because you were "famous" that it actually had any real value or meaning
Hitchington
Lovely stuff
- Location
- That London
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
That reminds me of an edition of Celebrity Mastermind and Ian Lavender steps up to the big, black chair. As he takes his seat, the quizmaster opens with the traditional question - "Name?" only for a wag to call out "Don't tell him Pike"
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ln_4FmNwh5M
Lullabelle
Banana
- Location
- Midlands UK
Cool. Could almost be the material for a joke.
"That's me in the corner"
*click*
"That's me in the spotlight"
*click*
Slideshow at Michael Stipe's Atheism Seminar.
@MoodBored
*click*
"That's me in the spotlight"
*click*
Slideshow at Michael Stipe's Atheism Seminar.
@MoodBored
