TwickenhamCyclist
Guest
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are both drowning and you only have time to save one of them... So what kind of sandwich would you make?
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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TwickenhamCyclist
Guest
Just when we were all having a good old chortle about the death of the baby Jesus as well...
raleighnut
Legendary Member
- Location
- One of the 'Elite'
Pastrami but I'd need to go to the Deli first to buy some.
TwickenhamCyclist
Guest
When I was at school we used to wind the RE teacher up by telling him the religion of one age is literally entertainment of the next...
... sorry wrong thread.
The RE Teacher calls in Johnny's mother to complain about his behaviour in class.
"When I asked him who knocked down the Wall of Jericho he said, "Please Sir, It Wasn't me." "
"Listen," says Johnny's mother. "If my boy says he didn't do, it then he didn't do it! OK?"
TwickenhamCyclist
Guest
Apologies if mentioned before but my friend's son was at a Catholic Nursery School. One day they asked him to tell me his end of the day prayer from school. He stood up, and did the sign of the cross over his chest while saying, in one long breath, "From my head to my heart and from my shoulder to my shoulder I love you my lord amen now put you coats on."
Wonderful!
We had a Cub who wrote a prayer
Dear God,
Thank you for my bones
Or I would be a Jellyfish
NorthernDave
Never used Über Member
- Location
- The real Northern Powerhouse
What do you call a burnt lettuce?
Chard
Chard
Profpointy
Legendary Member
teacher then complains to the headmaster who says 'well what's this wall going to cost to repair anyway"
Maverick Goose
A jumped up pantry boy, who never knew his place
- Location
- A champagne supernova in the sky
Did you hear 'bout the jumper cables that went into the bar,,,, bartender said I'll serve ya but don't start nothin!!!'
glenn forger
Guest
Lion King FC's recent away record is impressive.
A win, away.
A win, away.
A win, away.
A win, away.
A win, away.
A win, away.
glenn forger
Guest
FOOD FACT
The original name for I Can't Believe It's Not Butter was: Butter, My Arse.
This was rejected after punctuation difficulties.
The original name for I Can't Believe It's Not Butter was: Butter, My Arse.
This was rejected after punctuation difficulties.
Pensioners Bruce and Dave sitting on a park bench, and Bruce says to Dave: "I hope there's rugby up in heaven, Dave!"
"Me too," says Dave, "cos I'll miss the rugby."
Bruce goes on to say: "I tell you what Dave, whoever dies first is to try and get a message back"
Months later, Bruce passes on, leaving Dave to be sitting one day alone on the park bench, when all of a sudden Dave hears his name being called:
"Dave, Dave, it's me, Bruce! Remember we spoke about if there was rugby in heaven, I've got good and bad news for you."
"What's that?" says Dave.
"Well, the good news is that there is rugby in heaven. "
"Oh that's great news, but what's the bad news, Bruce?"
"You're scrumhalf this Saturday"
"Me too," says Dave, "cos I'll miss the rugby."
Bruce goes on to say: "I tell you what Dave, whoever dies first is to try and get a message back"
Months later, Bruce passes on, leaving Dave to be sitting one day alone on the park bench, when all of a sudden Dave hears his name being called:
"Dave, Dave, it's me, Bruce! Remember we spoke about if there was rugby in heaven, I've got good and bad news for you."
"What's that?" says Dave.
"Well, the good news is that there is rugby in heaven. "
"Oh that's great news, but what's the bad news, Bruce?"
"You're scrumhalf this Saturday"
