Any good jokes ... ?

[TwickenhamCyclist]

Wasn't it Peter Cook who rebuffed an invitation by saying he had a subsequent engagement?

Sounds like him...

Quick cut and paste from here

When the Tonight programme in the Sixties featured near-naked African women performing a tribal dance, Cook telephoned the programme claiming to be a Mr Sydney Darlow of the Sydney Darlow Dance Ensemble and insisted that his troupe of white ladies be allowed to dance topless on the BBC to the same sort of music. Years later, he phoned the BBC duty office to complain of a pornographic film being shown too late for his children to watch it.

 

[PeteXXX]

'Mummy, mummy... Can I lick the bowl?'



'No, dear, just pull the chain like everyone else.'

 

[theclaud]

[Last Supper]
Jesus:"We need 13 chairs please"
Judas:"But chairs don't fall into common usage until the 16th century AD"
Jesus:"AD?"



Sorry - nicked from Twitter again, obvs. Thanks @Spaziotwat

 

[wheresthetorch]

[Last Supper]
Jesus:"We need 13 chairs please"
Judas:"But chairs don't fall into common usage until the 16th century AD"
Jesus:"AD?"





Sorry - nicked from Twitter again, obvs. Thanks @Spaziotwat

I think that joke only really works if you think 'AD' stands for 'After Death', rather than the Latin anno Domini.

 

[Smokin Joe]

I think that joke only really works if you think 'AD' stands for 'After Death', rather than the Latin anno Domini.

Well that's put the dampener on that, hasn't it?

 

[theclaud]

I think that joke only really works if you think 'AD' stands for 'After Death', rather than the Latin anno Domini.

Nonsense.

 

[ufkacbln]

I think that joke only really works if you think 'AD' stands for 'After Death', rather than the Latin anno Domini.

When we were at School we used to wind up our RE teacher by labelling everyhting AMP or BMP

Before and After Monty Python

 

[raleighnut]

[Last Supper]
Jesus:"We need 13 chairs please"
Judas:"But chairs don't fall into common usage until the 16th century AD"
Jesus:"AD?"



Sorry - nicked from Twitter again, obvs. Thanks @Spaziotwat

Or as Billy Connolly put it " See you Judas, you're getting right on ma tits"

 

[srw]

I think that joke only really works if you think 'AD' stands for 'After Death', rather than the Latin anno Domini.

And that complaint only works if you think, against the available evidence, that Jesus had no fore-knowledge of his betrayal and death.

And while I'm being pedantic, the joke is ahistorical. Chairs were common well before the middle ages - many examples of Roman chairs survive - and according the only near-contemporary accounts we have it wasn't Jesus and Judas who prepared the room for the Last Supper but two disciples.

I like the joke for the same reason I love this cartoon.

 

[User33236]

My favourite cartoon... so much so I got it made into a T-shirt lol.

 

[vernon]

Last year I joined a support group for antisocial people.

We haven't met yet.

 

[Cubist]

I went to the inventor of Optrex' funeral last week.
Wasn't a dry eye in the house.

www.optrex.com. now that's a site for sore eyes!
(Think it was Tim Vine)

 

[tony111]

[Last Supper]
Jesus:"We need 13 chairs please"
Judas:"But chairs don't fall into common usage until the 16th century AD"
Jesus:"AD?"



Sorry - nicked from Twitter again, obvs. Thanks @Spaziotwat

Might have read this on here.............
Jesus goes to a restaurant.." I need a table for 26 please..
" But there's only 13 of you.." said the waiter,
Jesus replied....."We all want to sit on the same side"

 

[TVC]

When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.

 

[rikki]

When they told me I was delusional, I nearly fell off my unicorn.