Any good jokes ... ?

[TVC]

Spent all morning sorting out my U2 CD's

But I just couldn't find what I was looking for

Which brings up my favourite again.

Bono has released a U2 version of Monopoly. It's like normal Monopoly but the streets have no name.

 

[ufkacbln]

Adolf Hitler and Mrs Cube?

One's an evil dictator with a peculiar mustache








, and the other was leader of the Third Reich.

A suggestion for Shaun's new sections on the Forum .... obituaries

 

[glenn forger]

(Boy George said that if Bono really hasn't found what he's looking for he should check behind his drum kit)

EVERYONE knows about Bono calling for silence during a gig and leaning into the mic and clapping his hands.

"Every time I clap my hands, a starving child dies" Bono says.

A voice from the back calls

"Stop clapping your hands then!"

 

[vernon]

(Boy George said that if Bono really hasn't found what he's looking for he should check behind his drum kit)

EVERYONE knows about Bono calling for silence during a gig and leaning into the mic and clapping his hands.

"Every time I clap my hands, a starving child dies" Bono says.

A voice from the back calls

"Stop clapping your hands then!"

And I thought that everyone knew that the incident never happened.

 

[glenn forger]

It's the way I tell 'em.

 

[PeteXXX]

What's the difference between a cowboy and a hirsute woman?



One has a prairie hat...

 

[glenn forger]

I said "Look, childbirth's gory. There's pain, screaming, discharges and blood!".

and they still won't let me direct the nativity play.

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

What's the difference between a pair of orthopaedic inner soles and a bad drummer?

One bucks up the feet...

 

[Smokin Joe]

Q: Why is air a lot like sex?

A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

 

[RichardB]

The classic
What is the difference between a Duck?

One of its legs are both the same

And the more feet, the quacker.

 

[srw]

What's the difference between a cowboy and a hirsute woman?



One has a prairie hat...

And the other has a hairy prat?

 

[Moon bunny]

A Barrovian was in a pub talking to someone he didn't know.
"I get £118 a week off the jobcentre to support me, me missus and two kids" he moaned.
The other man replied, "I get £820 a week off the DWP and I'm single with no children".
"How do you work that trick?"
"I am the manager at the jobcentre."

 

[Moon bunny]

Anyone know where Concentrate is?
I'm drinking some lovely orange juice from there.

 

[TVC]

Anyone know where Concentrate is?
I'm drinking some lovely orange juice from there.

You're trying out your stand up on us aren't you?

 

[vernon]

You're trying out your stand up on us aren't you?

Nah. She's sitting down.