Smokin Joe
Squire
- Location
- Bare headed cyclist, Smoker
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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GordonB
Guru
- Location
- Somewhere just north of Ipswich
Some really loud and obnoxious people have just moved in next door. I now know how Canada feels.
Cubist
Still wavin'
- Location
- Ovver 'thill
OK then, I'll come upstairs.
Andy_R
Hard of hearing..I said Herd of Herring..oh FFS..
- Location
- County Durham
Channel 4 have announced a new series where four Jeremy Kyle guests take it in turns to cook frozen pizzas and Pot Noodles for each other.
.
.
It's called Scum Dine With Me.
.
.
It's called Scum Dine With Me.
derrick
The Glue that binds us together.
- Location
- On the edge of London
Don't know if this has been posted already, came across it today.
After a long night of making love, the man notice a picture of another man on the woman's night stand by the bed. He begins to worry.
"Is this ur husband?" He nervously asked. "No silly" she replies, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?" He continues. "No not at all" she says nibbling away at his ears. "Is it ur dad,ur brother or ur son?".
He inquires, hoping to be reassured. "No, no, no!. "U are so sexy when you're jealous!" She answered.
"Well who in the hell is he then?" He demands. She gently whispers in his ears.
"THAT USED TO BE ME"
After a long night of making love, the man notice a picture of another man on the woman's night stand by the bed. He begins to worry.
"Is this ur husband?" He nervously asked. "No silly" she replies, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?" He continues. "No not at all" she says nibbling away at his ears. "Is it ur dad,ur brother or ur son?".
He inquires, hoping to be reassured. "No, no, no!. "U are so sexy when you're jealous!" She answered.
"Well who in the hell is he then?" He demands. She gently whispers in his ears.
"THAT USED TO BE ME"
Last edited by a moderator:
Cubist
Still wavin'
- Location
- Ovver 'thill
That reminds me of the guy who scores in a club and gets taken back to her flat for a "coffee". An hour later he lights a fag and sighs contentedly. "I'll say one thing, you certainly know what to do with a cock."
"I should do" she replied, "I used to have one myself."
"I should do" she replied, "I used to have one myself."
- Location
- Shrewsbury, Shropshire
Once there was a Polynesian king who lived in the finest bamboo hut for a thousand miles around.
Although his island was not wealthy they had a fabulous treasure - a solid gold throne. As the king got older he started to worry that the throne might get stolen so one day he summoned his 10 strongest warriors and ordered them to remove the gold throne into the attic of his hut for safe keeping.
The king was satisfied and all was well until a few days later there was a sudden cracking noise and the throne fell through the floor of the attic onto the king and killed him instantly.
His people were shocked and saddened and mourned the king for many a year, but they all learned a valuable lesson:
People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
Although his island was not wealthy they had a fabulous treasure - a solid gold throne. As the king got older he started to worry that the throne might get stolen so one day he summoned his 10 strongest warriors and ordered them to remove the gold throne into the attic of his hut for safe keeping.
The king was satisfied and all was well until a few days later there was a sudden cracking noise and the throne fell through the floor of the attic onto the king and killed him instantly.
His people were shocked and saddened and mourned the king for many a year, but they all learned a valuable lesson:
People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
grumpyoldgit
Über Member
- Location
- Surrey
Herb decided to propose to Sandy, but prior to her acceptance
Sandy felt she had to confess to her man about her childhood illness.
She informed Herb that she suffered a disease that left her breasts
At the maturity of a 12 year old.
He stated that it was OK because he loved her so much. However,
Herb felt this was also the time for him to open up and admit that
He had a deformity too.
Herb looked Sandy in the eyes and said, 'I too have a problem.
My winky is the same size as an infant and I hope you can deal with
That once we are married.'
She said, 'Yes, I will marry you & learn to live with your infant size
winky.'
Sandy and Herb got married and they could not wait for the honeymoon.
Herb whisked Sandy off to their hotel suite and they started touching,
Teasing, and holding one another.
As Sandy put her hands in Herb's pants, she began to scream and ran
Out of the room! Herb ran after her to find out what was wrong.
She said, 'You told me your winky was the size of an infant!'
'Yes, it is .... 6 pounds, 10 ounces, 19 inches long.'
Sandy felt she had to confess to her man about her childhood illness.
She informed Herb that she suffered a disease that left her breasts
At the maturity of a 12 year old.
He stated that it was OK because he loved her so much. However,
Herb felt this was also the time for him to open up and admit that
He had a deformity too.
Herb looked Sandy in the eyes and said, 'I too have a problem.
My winky is the same size as an infant and I hope you can deal with
That once we are married.'
She said, 'Yes, I will marry you & learn to live with your infant size
winky.'
Sandy and Herb got married and they could not wait for the honeymoon.
Herb whisked Sandy off to their hotel suite and they started touching,
Teasing, and holding one another.
As Sandy put her hands in Herb's pants, she began to scream and ran
Out of the room! Herb ran after her to find out what was wrong.
She said, 'You told me your winky was the size of an infant!'
'Yes, it is .... 6 pounds, 10 ounces, 19 inches long.'
