Any good jokes ... ?

[Hitchington]

Why don't melons ever run away and get married?

Because they cantaloupe.

 

[Markymark]

"Science is pointless when the results are taken out of context."

Top scientist admits that "Science is pointless"

 

[Hitchington]

Why should you never trust an atom?

Because they make up stuff.

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

What goes 'Ooooo! Oooooooo!?'

A cow with no lips.

 

[TVC]

 

[threebikesmcginty]

View attachment 106017

A beer chum sent me a copy of that the other day when I'd suggested that we inform the landord of a local that he's put paninis on his menu but panini is already the plural of panino and therefore the 's' is superfluous.

 

[Cubist]

View attachment 106017

Which Tyler led the Pedants' Revolt..........

 

[Cubist]

A beer chum sent me a copy of that the other day when I'd suggested that we inform the landord of a local that he's put paninis on his menu but panini is already the plural of panino and therefore the 's' is superfluous.

Cubester works in a local pub. Every single plural on every single menu has an apostrophe. I tried surreptitiously rubbing a few off the special's board (sic) but unfortunately the "chalk" needs a solvent to erase it.

 

[TVC]

Cubester works in a local pub. Every single plural on every single menu has an apostrophe. I tried surreptitiously rubbing a few off the special's board (sic) but unfortunately the "chalk" needs a solvent to erase it.

A couple of months ago there was one on the specials board at my local "Lincolnshire sausage's and mash....." after a couple of pints I had to go over and get rid of the offending mark, it was bugging me so much. As I went back to my seat one woman smiled and said thank you.

 

[Profpointy]

Which Tyler led the Pedants' Revolt..........

now that is close to genius: outstanding!

 

[TwickenhamCyclist]

http://www.theguardian.com/science/...allenge-to-malaria-pioneer-led-to-nobel-prize

Tu Youyou wins the Nobel prize for Medicine but I reckon she should be also be awarded a prize for being the most confusing person to sing Happy Birthday to...

 

[Cubist]

http://www.theguardian.com/science/...allenge-to-malaria-pioneer-led-to-nobel-prize

Tu Youyou wins the Nobel prize for Medicine but I reckon she should be also be awarded a prize for being the most confusing person to sing Happy Birthday to...

Genuinely crying at this one. Chapeau.

 

[Cubist]

now that is close to genius: outstanding!

I can't take the credit I'm afraid, but it is a favourite.

 

[TwickenhamCyclist]

Genuinely crying at this one. Chapeau.

Perhaps we could get the Chuckle Brothers to sing it to her....

I'll get me coat

 

[Hitchington]

My girlfriend is just like my iPad

I don't have an iPad