Any good jokes ... ?

[Gwylan]

Me: I'm going to make one of those diagrams that uses circles.
Dracula: Venn?
Me: Probably tomorrow.

Dracula: Euler come back tomorrow then

Venn called them Euler circles actually. Fellow pedants will know about Euler's beauty. But I struggle to make a pun.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euler's_identity

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[fritz katzenjammer]

I was very young at the time and don't know the details of what happened but I remember a Leyland lorry my Dad drove lost a piston in action. Bit of a BL theme to this!

I was working with an International 784 tractor when under load, the engine developed a knock and split second later, put a connecting rod through the block but the piston stayed where it should. I know someone who had a Skoda Superb that did something similar.

A neighbour was changing the oil on a Lamborghini tractor and found a nut stuck to the magnetic sump bung. He dropped the sump to see where it had come from and discovered one of the big end caps was missing a nut and the other side was loose. A very close escape from an expensive problem!

A friend of mine dropped this off a few years back. One of the guys he ran with had a 75 Corvette with a heavily tune 350 cubic inch V8 in it. After a season of street racing it developed a knock. Shortly after, at full throttle near redline, this popped out. It left through the oil pump ( which pretty much disappeared ) and was found embedded in the asphalt. When I first got it the wrist pin was a beautiful bright blue.

 

[PeteXXX]

It's a little known fact that there is a Patron Saint of checking bread rolls before removing them from the oven.

Saint John The Bap Test!

😇

 

[JtB]

It's a little known fact that there is a Patron Saint of checking bread rolls before removing them from the oven.

Saint John The Bap Test!

😇

Definitely like that one.
JtB. 👍

 

[flopner]

An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
The bouncer is a blonde girl.
I'm a 6-foot-tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind Marine thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.

 

[tyred]

 

[mistyoptic]

Glass coffins. Will they catch on?
Remains to be seen…..

 

[Chris S]

 

[Chris S]

 

[Gwylan]

View attachment 714491

Are they a football team? Or just 11 saddos who run around in the rain.

 

[srj10]

I’m teaching my dog to fetch tools from the garage. He’s not quite mastered it yet, but he knows the drill.

 

[mistyoptic]

I was outside a phone shop earlier. They had this really great display of Google phones. It was so good I took a picture for you but every time I try to upload it, it pixelates

 

[Speicher]

I’m teaching my dog to fetch tools from the garage. He’s not quite mastered it yet, but he knows the drill.

If he bit it, you will see the teeth marks.

Is he a cocker spannerel?