Any good jokes ... ?

[Joey Shabadoo]

And not always the right notes

 

[Hitchington]

Two Irishmen walk into a pub...
hand in hand.

 

[howard2107]

Paddy flying home to Dublin with his mate Murphy. Pilot comes on intercom, "We are having technical problems, and one of our engines has stopped working, so our landing will be delayed by about an hour", time passes and pilot speaks again " Sorry more bad news, another engine has stopped working, so we will be about 2 hours late", and then 10 minutes later pilot comes back on and says "we have real trouble now, another engine has packed in, we will be another 2 hours late as we only have one engine left" Paddy turns to Murphy and says "i am scared Murphy, what if that engine packs up we could be be up here forever"

 

[the_craig]

What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bath?

The nun has hope in her soul...

-------------------------

What do you call a Scotsman with one foot in his door and one out out?

Hamish.

 

[machew]

If you hold a UNIX shell up to your ear, can you hear the C?

 

[vernon]

Police are warning that teenagers in Yorkshire have been injecting themselves with curry powder to get high cheaply. Two are reported to be in a korma.

 

[Markymark]

Police are warning that teenagers in Yorkshire have been injecting themselves with curry powder to get high cheaply. Two are reported to be in a korma.

I actually heard an older person had died form the same thing although it hsa been rumoured that after previous heart surgery he already had a dodgy tikka.

 

[raleighnut]

My Naan told me she had seen it on the news the other day.

 

[swee'pea99]

Rice jokes lads - keep 'em coming!

 

[raleighnut]

Rice jokes lads - keep 'em coming!

Righto Dhal ing.

 

[Archie_tect]

Just heard on the radio:

An eminent mathematics professor gave a talk to a packed lecture theatre in Glasgow University.

He started by saying that though it was accepted that two negatives make a positive, a positive and a negative make a negative but two positives never make a negative. From the back of the hall somebody said, "Aye, right?".

 

[benb]

Police are warning that teenagers in Yorkshire have been injecting themselves with curry powder to get high cheaply. Two are reported to be in a korma.

It's better than the Yorkshire drug craze from a couple of years back, where they had developed liquid ecstasy, and were injecting it into their mouths.
E by gum.

 

[raleighnut]

It's better than the Yorkshire drug craze from a couple of years back, where they had developed liquid ecstasy, and were injecting it into their mouths.
E by gum.

Is that like the people who stick Cocaine up their jacksie, Crack I think they call it.

 

[benb]

I was in a East End pub the other day, a rough one, full of villains.
One of the locals pulled my pants up out of my trousers.

It was Wedgie Kray.

 

[Archie_tect]

Rice jokes lads - keep 'em coming!

....more Chicken Chat rather than Cycle Chat.