Any good jokes ... ?

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swee'pea99

Legendary Member
Ban Fox Hunting in Britain !!

Look at the picture below.
If you agree with me please send this email to anyone you think may have influence

Hopefully we can stop it. Please help ban fox hunting in Great Britain !


THIS MADNESS MUST STOP!!
image001.jpg
 

rollinstok

Well-Known Member
Location
morecambe
Ban Fox Hunting in Britain !!

Look at the picture below.
If you agree with me please send this email to anyone you think may have influence
Hopefully we can stop it. Please help ban fox hunting in Great Britain !
THIS MADNESS MUST STOP!!

now that is funny, who didnt laugh ?
 

redcard

Veteran
Location
Paisley
Scotish, English and Irishman in a pub.
"Hello, I'm Andrew - was born on St Andrew's Day"
"I'm David, I was born on St David's Day"
"Hello, I'm Pancake..."
 
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says.........

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... every imaginable kind of cured pork.

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."

"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."

"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."

And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,

"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "

"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees

Ees

Ees

Ees

Ees a ham bush...."
 

Andy_R

Hard of hearing..I said Herd of Herring..oh FFS..
Location
County Durham
A man is invited to a fancy dress party and decides to take his new girlfriend with him.

They arrive at the party and the host opens the front door to them.

He is surprised to see they are both stark naked and the young man is carrying the young lady on his shoulders.

"You did read the invitation properly, didn't you?" asks the host.

"Oh yes," replies the young man.

"So you realise it's a fancy dress party?"

"Of course. We've come as a snail."

"A snail?"

"Yup. Oh, by the way, have you met Michelle?"
 

BigonaBianchi

Yes I can, Yes I am, Yes I did...Repeat.
Roy Hodgson has selected his first England team : Wobinson, Wichards, Tewwy, Wio, Brwidge, Gewward, Carrick, Wodwell, Bawwy, Cawwol, Wooney
 

Andy_R

Hard of hearing..I said Herd of Herring..oh FFS..
Location
County Durham
A young man applies for the position as a Farrier's apprentice

"Have you ever shoed a horse?" asks the Farrier.

"No, but I've told a donkey to f*ck off."
 
The other evening I met a large breasted woman in a bar, she took me outside to an alley telling me I could have some fun with her large chest.

She beat me to the floor and stole my wallet.

It was a booby trap.
 

john59

Guru
Location
Wirral
I was cuddling with my girlfriend under the blanket on a cold winter night. "My arse is freezing." she whinged. "Let me check," I replied. "Holy shoot, it's like Siberia!" "It's that cold?" she chuckled. I said, "No, it's huge."
 
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