Any good jokes ... ?

[vernon]

thats the whole thing about jokes. some people will be offended by what other people find funny.

I think Frankie Boyle is great, others i Know can't stand the material he uses. Tim Vine is some peoples favourite I can't stand him.

Then play it safe with clean wholesome humour. There'll be fewer complaints.

 

[subaqua]

Then play it safe with clean wholesome humour. There'll be fewer complaints.

sorry that went out in the 70s . whats the old phrase , you can please some of the people all of the time etc.

 

[Arch]

sorry that went out in the 70s . whats the old phrase , you can please some of the people all of the time etc.

But you can also have a think about whether you're offending some of the people some of the time, and then not do it...

 

[ASC1951]

Good dirty jokes can be very funny and are enjoyed in every culture. That's not to say you would tell them in public - and some of the offerings on here are so crude and misogynistic that I would have found them offensive even when I was thirteen.

 

[subaqua]

But you can also have a think about whether you're offending some of the people some of the time, and then not do it...

so then any jokes about anything can't be told because it might offend somebody . is that what you mean?

i refer the humourless amongst us here to reflect on the words of a Mr S Fry.

It's now very common to hear people say 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights; it's actually nothing more...it's simply a whine. 'I find that offensive,' it has no meaning, it has no purpose, it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I'm offended by that,' well so f***ing what?

 

[Doseone]

 

[redcard]

Guy at my work is selling a 50" LCD TV, boxed and looks as new, only problem is the volume buttons don't work. Only £90 - Pretty hard to turn down.

 

[vernon]

i refer the humourless amongst us here to reflect on the words of a Mr S Fry.

I've reflected on the words of Mr Fry and I have not altered my opinion. After all, he's hardly an arbiter of taste is he?

 

[Red Light]

Guy at my work is selling a 50" LCD TV, boxed and looks as new, only problem is the volume buttons don't work. Only £90 - Pretty hard to turn down.

Can you do a volume purchase?

 

[subaqua]

I've reflected on the words of Mr Fry and I have not altered my opinion. After all, he's hardly an arbiter of taste is he?

good as i haven't altered my opinion either

 

[Leedsbusdriver]

A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Do you have any grapes?" The bartender says, "No, I am sorry, we have cherries and olives but no grapes." "Oh," says the duck and leaves. Ten minutes later the duck returns and asks the same bartender, "Do you have any grapes?" "Like I said before, we have cherries and olives, but WE DON'T HAVE GRAPES!" says the bartender. "Oh," says the duck and leaves. But ten minutes later the duck returns and again asks, "Do you have any grapes?" "Look, beak lips," screams the bartender. "WE HAVE NO GRAPES!, we will never have NO grapes! and if you ask me again, I am going to nail your webby little feet to the floor!!!" "Oh," says the duck and leaves. Ten minutes later, the door swings open and the duck returns. The bartender is furious. He slams a bottle of beer down on the bar, stares menacingly at the duck and screams, "WHAT???!!" "Uh...uh...do ...you ...have...any....NAILS?" "Nails? Nails? No, we don't have nails," answers the bartender. "Mmmm," says the duck. "So, do you have any grapes?

 

[Moderators]

Please keep the jokes clean.
Anything not deemed so will be removed.

 

[Smokin Joe]

Please keep the jokes clean.
Anything not deemed so will be removed.

There was a young lady from Lunt...

Oh, all right then

 

[colly]

Q: What happened to the leopard that fell into the washing machine?
A: He came out spotless.






Well it is clean.

 

[Andy_R]

Courtesy of my 8yr old......"What's brown and sticky?"









"A stick"