Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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Andy_R
Hard of hearing..I said Herd of Herring..oh FFS..
- Location
- County Durham
ClichéGuevara
Legendary Member
- Location
- Kingston upon the River Hull
Moon bunny
Judging your grammar
- Location
- Basking in my own brilliance.
I’m trying to remember the name of a hard, heavy metal. It’s on the tip of my tungsten.
oldwheels
Legendary Member
- Location
- Isle of Mull
A bloke is showing two young American girls around London and they come to a Pelican crossing. He presses the button and the pedestrian signal goes 'bleep-bleep-bleep-bleep.'
'What's that for?' asked one of the girls. 'Oh that's just to let the blind know that the lights have changed' said the bloke.
'My Gaad' she said, really shocked, 'in the States we don't even let them drive.'
The managing director of a firm I worked for was American and preferred to have a copilot when driving as his eyesight was so bad. That joke is nearly true to life.
Andy in Germany
Guru
- Location
- Rottenburg am Neckar
The managing director of a firm I worked for was American and preferred to have a copilot when driving as his eyesight was so bad. That joke is nearly true to life.
Did he make trips to Barnard Castle to check it?
Andy in Germany
Guru
- Location
- Rottenburg am Neckar
One of the trick questions on the German driving test is "Can blind people park in disabled parking spaces?"
The answer is "yes" because you can drive when legally blind up to a point. An acquaintance of mine is legally blind and he drives ambulances.
Andy in Germany
Guru
- Location
- Rottenburg am Neckar
oldwheels
Legendary Member
- Location
- Isle of Mull
He commuted by car at one point between Kilmarnock and Elderslie SW of Glasgow. After about a year he was stopped by police and asked why he had not stopped at some traffic lights which had been there for years. His reply was “ what traffic lights?”
There are other stories told to me by a terrified passenger who did not realise he was supposed to be looking out for possible hazards.
Andy in Germany
Guru
- Location
- Rottenburg am Neckar
He commuted by car at one point between Kilmarnock and Elderslie SW of Glasgow. After about a year he was stopped by police and asked why he had not stopped at some traffic lights which had been there for years. His reply was “ what traffic lights?”
There are other stories told to me by a terrified passenger who did not realise he was supposed to be looking out for possible hazards.
When I was in Montana I was asked to go and pick someone up by car. On driving away I found the speedometer didn't work, which for someone who learned to drive in Germany meant the car couldn't be used. (because how else can you be sure you're driving at exactly the correct speed?) I reported this to the owner who answered "the police won't bother if you're driving the same speed as other cars."
