Any good jokes ... ?

[swee'pea99]

It wasn't that good a joke the first time you posted it - on 18 Dec 2013. Or when @compo posted it on Tuesday. Or when he posted a different version of it on 9 November 2012.

Yeah you bastard. Who do you think you are, posting jokes that have been posted before. I don't know, some people...

 

[subaqua]

A cyclist got a puncture that he couldn't repair, so he decided to hitch-hike a lift home. A man driving a Ferrari pulled up and offered to tow the cyclist but wouldn't let him put the dirty bike in his car. Since the cyclist was tired and there were no other cars around, he agreed to being towed.

The Ferrari driver tied the bike to his car and then said to the cyclist; "OK, we're ready. If I drive too fast, ring the bell and I'll slow down."
He then set off but at the first set of traffic lights, a Porsche pulled up next to him.The Ferrari Driver instantly forgot about the cyclist tied to his car and started to race the Porsche. As they raced down the road, they went through a speed trap. The policeman with the speed gun radioed the officers further down the road and said; "You've got a Ferrari and a Porsche coming your way at over 100mph."

"100mph?! Isn't that the fastest speed ever recorded on this road?" the officers replied.
"Yeah" said the cop with the speed gun, "But get this. There's a cyclist behind them ringing his bell to go past."

was the cyclist Guy Martin !

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

Aye! It were mega. Top lad, that Ferrari fella, top lad.

 

[screenman]

I have a joke, but not the time to read 146 pages to see if it has been put up before.

 

[AndyRM]

I have a joke, but not the time to read 146 pages to see if it has been put up before.

FFS. I said the exact same thing ten pages ago!

 

[screenman]

It wasn't that good a joke the first time you posted it - on 18 Dec 2013. Or when @compo posted it on Tuesday. Or when he posted a different version of it on 9 November 2012.

Run everybody, I think we have been infiltrated by somebody from the SC&P section.

 

[subaqua]

Aye! It were mega. Top lad, that Ferrari fella, top lad.

spot on.

 

[TwickenhamCyclist]

My grandad was in the British army during the war. He was the regimental Christmas Tree. He didn't see much action but he was highly decorated...

 

[Oldbloke]

I went to the docs, told him I had this strange feeling I was turning into a horse.

He said "I'll have to write you out one of these"

"Prescription" I said

"No, a licence to 5hit in the road"

I'll get my coat.....

 

[compo]

Run everybody, I think we have been infiltrated by somebody from the SC&P section.

Unless they had a Guardian editorial to explain the joke that lot wouldn't get it anyway.

 

[TVC]

Run everybody, I think we have been infiltrated by somebody from the SC&P section.

No, keep very still, their vision is based on movement.

 

[Maverick Goose]

Friggin' a man, friggin' a!

 

[ayceejay]

I haven't found any of the previous half dozen efforts funny at all.

 

[colly]

No, keep very still, their vision is based on movement.

Just stand to one side. They can't see because of the blinkers.

 

[colly]

Which side though?

Left or right it makes no difference.