jhawk
Veteran
- Location
- New Brunswick, Canada
And chasing the American Dream does not count as exercise!
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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threebikesmcginty
Corn Fed Hick...
- Location
- ...on the slake
What did the Chinese man say when he lost his tractor?
"I've lost my tractor"
"I've lost my tractor"
vernon
Harder than Ronnie Pickering
- Location
- Meanwood, Leeds
And chasing the American Dream does not count as exercise!
How's your Canadian cycling dream coming along?
threebikesmcginty
Corn Fed Hick...
- Location
- ...on the slake
What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of an aeroplane?
Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
jhawk
Veteran
- Location
- New Brunswick, Canada
Fairly well, hoping to set off in May!
threebikesmcginty
Corn Fed Hick...
- Location
- ...on the slake
Why did the baker have smelly hands?
Because he kneaded a poo.
Because he kneaded a poo.
jhawk
Veteran
- Location
- New Brunswick, Canada
I used to be in a band called 'Missing Cat'.
You may have seen our posters.
You may have seen our posters.
LCpl Boiled Egg
Three word soundbite
I hope they were more successful than my group. We were called "Cancelled".
Andy_R
Hard of hearing..I said Herd of Herring..oh FFS..
- Location
- County Durham
Looking out of my window yesterday evening I noticed a couple of small people on horseback dressed in black armour galloping down the street. "These knights are getting shorter", I thought.
It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach.
A human hair can hold 3 kgs
The length of the penis is 3 x the length of the thumb
The femur is as hard as concrete
A women's heart beats faster than a man's
Women blink twice as much as a man
We use 300 muscles just to keep balance when we stand up
A woman has to read this entire text
A man is still looking at his thumb!
A human hair can hold 3 kgs
The length of the penis is 3 x the length of the thumb
The femur is as hard as concrete
A women's heart beats faster than a man's
Women blink twice as much as a man
We use 300 muscles just to keep balance when we stand up
A woman has to read this entire text
A man is still looking at his thumb!
After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to
describe her. He looked at her for a while, then said: "You're an
alphabet wife... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."
She asks: "What the hell does that mean?"
He said: "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy,
Gorgeous and Hot".
She smiled happily and said: "Oh, that's so lovely, but what about I, J, K?"
He said: "I'm Just Kidding!"
The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly
optimistic about saving his testicles.
describe her. He looked at her for a while, then said: "You're an
alphabet wife... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."
She asks: "What the hell does that mean?"
He said: "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy,
Gorgeous and Hot".
She smiled happily and said: "Oh, that's so lovely, but what about I, J, K?"
He said: "I'm Just Kidding!"
The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly
optimistic about saving his testicles.
jhawk
Veteran
- Location
- New Brunswick, Canada
I've been listening to my radio all night.
It's definitely off.
It's definitely off.
I found myself in a pub in Cork.
A group of American tourists came in.
One of the Americans said, in a loud voice, "I hear you Irish think your great drinkers. I bet 5,000 euros that no-one here can drink 30 pints of Guinness in 30 minutes."
The bar was silent, butthe American noticed one Irishman leaving, no-one took up the bet.
40 minutes later the Irishman who left returned and said "Hey Yank, is your wee bet still on?"
"Sure" said the American, "30 pints in 30 minutes for a bet of 5,000 Euros."
"Grand, " replied the Irishman, "so pour the pints and start the clock."
It was very close but the last drop was consumed with 2 seconds to spare.
"OK Yank, pay up." said the Irishman..
"I'm happy to pay, here's your money" said the American.
"But tell me, when I first offered the wager I saw you leave. Where did you go?'
The Irishman replied, "Well sir, 5,000 Euros is a lot of money to a man like me, so I went to the pub
across the road to see if I could do it."
A group of American tourists came in.
One of the Americans said, in a loud voice, "I hear you Irish think your great drinkers. I bet 5,000 euros that no-one here can drink 30 pints of Guinness in 30 minutes."
The bar was silent, butthe American noticed one Irishman leaving, no-one took up the bet.
40 minutes later the Irishman who left returned and said "Hey Yank, is your wee bet still on?"
"Sure" said the American, "30 pints in 30 minutes for a bet of 5,000 Euros."
"Grand, " replied the Irishman, "so pour the pints and start the clock."
It was very close but the last drop was consumed with 2 seconds to spare.
"OK Yank, pay up." said the Irishman..
"I'm happy to pay, here's your money" said the American.
"But tell me, when I first offered the wager I saw you leave. Where did you go?'
The Irishman replied, "Well sir, 5,000 Euros is a lot of money to a man like me, so I went to the pub
across the road to see if I could do it."
