Any good jokes ... ?

[srj10]

Tom Daley prepares for a double somersault with Pike

 

[Dayvo]

 

[PaulB]

Following a major refurbishment, the Imperial War Museum will henceforth be known as the Metric War Museum.

 

[craigwend]

 

[PaulB]

I don't know if this goes here or in the football thread;

The covid app has disrupted the Premiership today; Ings and Mings have both been pinged!!!

 

[Speicher]

Paul plays left back in football. Left back at the changing rooms.

Yes, the old ones are the best.

 

[Andy_R]

The Grim Reaper came for me last night, but I fought him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death...

 

[Tribansman]

I've invented a device to cool the lower jaw of South American rodents, it's a chinchilla chin chiller.

And I've invented a device to deal with an infestation of slightly poorlier warm-jawed South American rodents, it's an inch iller chinchilla chin chiller killer

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[mistyoptic]

View attachment 605517

Would still be better than Lynx Marmite…

 

[mistyoptic]

For those of you who thought I was joking

 

[morrisman]

The star of Taxi and Matilda has invented a rum and lime flavoured Mexican food dish, it's called a Danny DeVito Mojito Burrito.

 

[morrisman]

OMG! I've just found out that Albert Einstein was a real person, I alway thought he was just a theoretical physicist.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

I phoned my wife earlier and asked her if she wanted me to pick up fish and chips on my way home but she just grunted at me.
I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.