glasgowcyclist
Charming but somewhat feckless
- Location
- Scotland
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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Chromatic
Legendary Member
- Location
- Gloucestershire
After the few preceding posts to this one this is much more like it, we're back on the right track now.
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
I raised the alarm at work today.
The dwarves were furious.
The dwarves were furious.
I like physics jokes
Why does hamburger have less energy than a steak?
Because it is in the ground state.
What is white, has only one side and lives in the ocean?
Mobius Dick
An oxygen atom has married a Magnesium atom .... OMg!
There is a blue plaque on the wall... Heisenberg may have lived here
Why does hamburger have less energy than a steak?
Because it is in the ground state.
What is white, has only one side and lives in the ocean?
Mobius Dick
An oxygen atom has married a Magnesium atom .... OMg!
There is a blue plaque on the wall... Heisenberg may have lived here
Peteaud
Veteran
- Location
- South Somerset
My wife and I have just learned how to speak both Terrapin and Turtle with help from our new pet.
He taught us.
He taught us.
Maverick Goose
A jumped up pantry boy, who never knew his place
- Location
- A champagne supernova in the sky
In this dimension or any others
srw
It's a bit more complicated than that...
Physics; Maths; Chemistry; Physics. Perhaps it's geeky jokes you like.
Profpointy
Legendary Member
I have it on good authority that Schrodinger's old house actually does (now) have a cat-flap.
(not a joke by the way, just one of those little facts)
The Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'JESUS WALKS ON THE WATER.' the sermon tonight: 'SEARCHING FOR JESUS'
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious
pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
-------------------------
Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?'
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered..
--------------------------
The 'Young Mother's Fellowship' meets on Tuesdays at 2.30.
If you are not a young mother but would like to be, please see the vicar in the vestry afterwards.
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
--------------------------
...She played a hymn for those at sea on the organ
--------------------------
Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothes of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
--------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM .. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------
And this one just about sums them all up
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:
'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'JESUS WALKS ON THE WATER.' the sermon tonight: 'SEARCHING FOR JESUS'
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious
pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
-------------------------
Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?'
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered..
--------------------------
The 'Young Mother's Fellowship' meets on Tuesdays at 2.30.
If you are not a young mother but would like to be, please see the vicar in the vestry afterwards.
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
--------------------------
...She played a hymn for those at sea on the organ
--------------------------
Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothes of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
--------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM .. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------
And this one just about sums them all up
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:
'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.
TwickenhamCyclist
Guest
was going to writ it down but its better when he tells it,,,
Cubist
Still wavin'
- Location
- Ovver 'thill
My favourite joke of all time.....
