Any good jokes ... ?

[Cavalol]

Chocolate smuggling isn’t easy but I have a few Twix up my sleeve.

 

[CharlesF]

 

[Dayvo]

Chocolate smuggling isn’t easy but I have a few Twix up my sleeve.

Remember not to leave your shopping in your back passage! 😳

😉

 

[Cavalol]

My grief counsellor died last night. He was so good that I didn't give a toss.

 

[Dayvo]

 

[morrisman]

I've started adding food to my magic act. I crush garlic, basil and pine nuts and then blend them with grated parmesan and olive oil, cover with a cloth, wave my wand, pull off the cloth, and
HEY PESTO!

 

[houblon]

View attachment 499459

I know that's over a year old, but it's the first thing that's actually made me hurt myself laughing in over a year

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

My wife just told me that I'm pretty.



Well, the whole sentence was "You're pretty bloody annoying", but I like to focus on the positive.

 

[PeteXXX]

Spoiler

Slight caution advised..
🤢

 

[Domus]

Slight caution advised..
🤢

Only slight

 

[Cavalol]

I thought my brother was putting on a balaclava to see Judas Priest, but he was actually going to rob Halford's.

 

[mistyoptic]

 

[Cavalol]

Unfortunately my Dalmatian dog has died. Oh well, at least the house is spotless.

 

[Cavalol]

I used to go out with a one armed cinema usherette.
I still carry a torch for her.

 

[PaulB]

When my friend told me to put a potato in my Speedos to 'enhance' my profile on the beach, I wish he'd have told me to put it down the front.