Any good jokes ... ?

[Dave7]

Nothing in the English language starts with an 'n' and ends in a 'g'.

I have read that several times and the penny has just dropped

 

[Cavalol]

Singer Anita Ward, best known for her 1979 chart topper ' Ring my bell ' eventually gave up the music business to fulfil her lifelong ambition and become a hospital cleaner.

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Cavalol]

My brother often used the wrong toilet in pubs.
He had a reputation as a bit of a ladies' man.

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Andy_R]

Whoever decided to call false teeth "dentures" really missed a golden opportunity to call them "substitooths"

 

[Cavalol]

I was going to play giant Scrabble in the park today, but decided not to.


The Q was too big.

 

[Cavalol]

I used to go out with a promiscuous impressionist.

She did everybody.

 

[PaulB]

Every woman's dream is for a man to take her into his arms, throw her on the bed and clean the whole house while she's asleep.

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[mistyoptic]

 

[betty swollocks]

Just been thrown out of Tescos.
Apparently When the cashier instructed “Strip down facing me,” she was referring to my bank card.

 

[PaulB]

I was ripping a book in half the other day and my friend said to me, "Why would you do such a thing?" and I said, 'Well, to cut a long story short."