Any good jokes ... ?

[postman]

Be careful of a new scam going around.It takes place in supermarket car parks,always to older men.It goes like this you come out with your trolley,as you start to pack your car,three women appear two start to wash your car.You notice because they have tiny shorts on and t shirts.Once they see you watching they start to splash water on themselves,revealing they are wearing no underwear.It's then the third one steals your wallet.Be safe out there I have lost eight wallets in two months.

 

[T4tomo]

One of Elton's songs was Its a Little Bit Funny.
A little fit bunny

as the old saying goes if you have to explain it...

...it either wasn't funny or the reader was dim!

"Your Song" btw

 

[Oldhippy]

I know the song I was tryingto relate it to one of those fit bit wrist watch things with the exercise hamster.

 

[morrisman]

 

[swee'pea99]

as the old saying goes if you have to explain it...

...it either wasn't funny or the reader was dim!

"Your Song" btw

I think it's a bit strong to call someone dim just because they don't recognise a specific Elton John track.

 

[Oldhippy]

I am autistic so inference can be a problem.

 

[Arjimlad]

 

[Eziemnaik]

Engrish

 

[Profpointy]

View attachment 569852

That's terrible ... but I did chuckle

 

[Oldhippy]

There is a chain of burger place in Japan called Love burger. Funny menus from memory.

 

[Eziemnaik]

Japan (and other Asian countries as well) is famous for their idiosyncratic use of random English words. This produces gems such as:

 

[Profpointy]

The (hopefully!) mistranslated Asian notices remind me of a story of someone wanting a Confucian proverb on the frontispiece of his PhD thesis. It was something like "It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness", a reference to education and learning, and I think the PhD was about the physics of light so doubly apt. He thought it'd be even nicer in Chinese characters, so he asked various asian colleagues for help. Eventually, he found a note with Chinese writing left on his desk, and a quick check suggested it referenced light and dark so seemed to be OK, and with the deadline looming he sent it off for printing and binding. In due course someone owned up that it actually said "store in a cool dry place away from direct sunlight" and had been copied off a packet of noodles. Given the likely fate of most PhD theses, he though it apt and let it stand.

In a similar vein a colleague's PhD supervisor had told him that he'd put a banknote in the copy of his own PhD in the university library and every year he checked and it was still there.

 

[Chris S]

I don't know how true this is but British executives visiting a Japanese company were apparently told that if they needed the services of a secretary then they were welcome to take advantage of one in the typing pool.

 

[Oldhippy]

Generally I found more women there spoke some English more than men. I did get help from a few office ladies in the early days there before I learned the language so I can imagine that being perfectly true. Made phone calls etc much easier.

 

[PaulB]

Generally I found more women there spoke some English more than men. I did get help from a few office ladies in the early days there before I learned the language so I can imagine that being perfectly true. Made phone calls etc much easier.

I don't get it.