Any good jokes ... ?

[Dave7]

View attachment 561395

True (sad story).**
Many years ago.....1968.....on honeymoon in Scarborough. I persuaded a young MrsD to go on the 'big wheel' with me¹. As we got to the top I noticed it was attached by just one large bolt and my pleasure immediately turned to fear. I just could not wait to get off.... if I could have got them to stop it I would have done.
A week after we got home one of the bolts sheared and 3 young girls were killed.
**hope I have not ruined the joke

 

[ClichéGuevara]

True (sad story).**
Many years ago.....1968.....on honeymoon in Scarborough. I persuaded a young MrsD to go on the 'big wheel' with me¹. As we got to the top I noticed it was attached by just one large bolt and my pleasure immediately turned to fear. I just could not wait to get off.... if I could have got them to stop it I would have done.
A week after we got home one of the bolts sheared and 3 young girls were killed.
**hope I have not ruined the joke

Me and another half were in that wheel once, when the operators got fully engaged in a fight with a group that had turned up spoiling for trouble. We were on it for absolutely ages, and had to cover up as best we could when it got to the lower half as we were in the cross fire from a bottle throwing battle.

Being a gent, I lent her my jacket for protection, after all, they were less likely to get me as I was pushing her forward as a shield.*



*That bit may or may not be a lie.

 

[postman]

My allotment really isn't very big at all. It's more of a notmuchment.

Every morning last week.Somebody dropped a load of top soil on my allotment.I dont know why ,but the plot thickens.

 

[Cavalol]

The discoverer of Coeliac disease has died. The family have requested no flours.

 

[postman]

The discoverer of Coeliac disease has died. The family have requested no flours.

Having someone in the family suffering with that.I love it,going to pinch it for Christmas day over dinner.I'll drop it in the conversation somehow.

 

[swee'pea99]

True (sad story).**
Many years ago.....1968.....on honeymoon in Scarborough. I persuaded a young MrsD to go on the 'big wheel' with me¹. As we got to the top I noticed it was attached by just one large bolt and my pleasure immediately turned to fear. I just could not wait to get off.... if I could have got them to stop it I would have done.
A week after we got home one of the bolts sheared and 3 young girls were killed.
**hope I have not ruined the joke

I was on one of those whirly rides with my younger sister - I would've been maybe 10, her 5 - when the floor of our pod suddenly dropped/flew off. We hung onto the safety rail for dear life, our feet waving in the air. When we finally got down they bolted the floor back on and said we could have another go for free.

 

[Cavalol]

My neighbour on one side has a green triangular house. On the other side it's an orange octagon. I live in a quality street.

 

[Dayvo]

My neighbour on one side has a green triangular house. On the other side it's an orange octagon. I live in a quality street.

A bit posh, aren’t you. Toffee-nosed, even.

 

[Dayvo]

Not a joke, but funny nonetheless.

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Cavalol]

A bit posh, aren’t you. Toffee-nosed, even.

Don't fudge the issue.

 

[Dayvo]

Don't fudge the issue.

They say ‘a finger of fudge is just enough.......’! 😳

 

[glasgowcyclist]

A bit posh, aren’t you. Toffee-nosed, even.

Yes, but his Turkish neighbour is a delight.

 

[Dayvo]

Yes, but his Turkish neighbour is a delight.

Not when he’s got him by the short and Curly Wurlies! 😬

 

[PeteXXX]

Not when he’s got him by the short and Curly Wurlies! 😬

These puns are getting a bit Flakey..