Any good jokes ... ?

[PaulB]

I went for a walk down this road where the house numbers were 64k, 128k, 256k, 512k and 1024k.
It was a trip down memory lane.

 

[monkers]

True story.
I am 73.
A couple few years ago when Rod Stewart fathered a child MrsD said to me 'look at that.....he is over 70 and still 'at it'".
I said "well, give me a good looking blonde with big knockers and I would be at it".
Good job the door was open

Not a joke but a brief aside.

Bernie Ecclestone celebrated his 90th birthday in October this year. He is the father of Charles who was born on the 1st of July this year.

 

[PaulB]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

Think also of the first line of 'This Charming Man'.....

Except the name of this appeared as 'Bicycle Despair Man'

 

[Cavalol]

Went to see a concert performance by the royal Bermuda philharmonic orchestra .



Half way through the first symphony, the triangle player vanished .

 

[Cavalol]

I'm not saying my wife is embarrassed by me, but on our wedding day I was only invited to the evening reception.

 

[Cavalol]

A vicar wearing a mask threw some holy water over me.


I think it was a blessing in disguise.

 

[Cavalol]

I once played cricket in the aisle of a lingerie shop. I got caught in the slips.

 

[PaulB]

I was disappointed to not see many philosophy jokes on here.

But then I suppose it's a Nietzsche market.

 

[mistyoptic]

 

[Dayvo]

Hope it’s not just me!

 

[Cavalol]

A young Scouse woman was so depressed that she decided to launch herself into the Mersey, but just before she did a handsome young man stopped her.
"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor and we are off to Australia tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day and keep you happy."
With nothing to lose and the prospect of going to Australia, the woman accepted. That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold. From then on every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine and make love to her until dawn.
Two weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection. "What are you doing here?" asked the captain.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Australia."
"I see," the captain says.
Her conscience got the best of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Birkenhead ferry."

 

[roadrash]

The wreath of khan

 

[Cavalol]