You're a burglar, but....

[lazybloke]

Remove springs from all door handles and locks.

Remove all erasers from the ends of pencils (bonus points if the pencils are used as bookmarks in sudoko books)


I reckon you can cause more mischief by changing things, for example:

• Put one faulty bulb in every string of Christmas tree lights
• Swap coffee for decaf
• Replace all moden LED room lighting with compact fluorescent bulbs
• For all audiophile equipment, reverse the polarity of one speaker

And on a cycling theme, replace bum butter or similar products with Tiger Balm

 

[Dayvo]

Nick the lock.

Nick the keyholes.

 

[newfhouse]

Can we add items? A carefully placed, very small, colour matched cable tie on a chainstay will cause an annoying clicking that takes longer than it ought to diagnose. DAMHIKT.

 

[Jenkins]

Re-arrange the CDs and vinyl records alphabetically by album title, not artist's name

 

[fossyant]

We did extract the crank from a club mates bike and position it at the same angle as the other crank one, at a TT HQ.

Oh how we laughed....

 

[slowmotion]

Move all the pictures 2 degrees off vertical.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Nick the kitty litter scoop.
Replace all the light bulbs for dimmer ones (swap the 100w with 60w etc)
Knock all the pictures on the walls a couple of degrees out of true.
Turn the hi-fi volume knob up to full.
Set all the clocks a little bit fast/slow
Change the wake word on their Alexa

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

More all the pictures 2 degrees off vertical.

Oi!

 

[slowmotion]

Oi!

Sorry! I wasn't paying attention at the back. I'll slope off to the Naughty Step.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Replace all the light bulbs for dimmer ones (swap the 100w with 60w etc)

Incidentally and O/T so -

Spoiler

When I worked in paint, a decorating centre told me the story of a cheapskate painter and decorator. He had landed a job painting this very posh woman's house in a particular shade of very expensive Farrow & Ball paint. Being a cheapskate, instead of buying Farrow & Ball, he took the shadecard to the decorating centre and got them to mix up cheap paint to the same shade. Also being a cheapskate, he only gave the house one coat. When the lady of the house returned, she was a bit disappointed with the result saying it looked lighter than she expected. "No problem" says the painter, "I can give it another coat but it'll cost you another 50%". She grudgingly agreed. The next day, after she had left for work, the painter returned with a box of bulbs, all of lower wattage than the existing ones. He swapped them all over and when the lady returned that night she agreed that the extra coat of paint had made all the difference and was well worth the money paid.

 

[slowmotion]

Take that folded bit of cardboard from underneath the kitchen table leg........and while you're about it, remove the bits of insulation tape that hold all the broken battery covers on the remotes.

 

[Archie_tect]

Leave a portable radio tuned to a chat channel on a very low volume in the roofspace over a bedroom so that it's just audible at night...

 

[classic33]

I'd steal the last two pages of every book.. 😈

First and last two.
That way they'll wonder how it started and how it ends.

 

[rikki]

Leave a portable radio tuned to a chat channel on a very low volume in the roofspace over a bedroom so that it's just audible at night...

Evil.
That's up there with prawn heads in curtain rods.

 

[slowmotion]

Evil.
That's up there with prawn heads in curtain rods.

....or a pot of double cream in the bonnet air grilles of a car.....