You're a burglar, but....

[biggs682]

Toilet flush handle

 

[steveindenmark]

My Butler.

 

[PeteXXX]

The cat's litter tray..

 

[Salty seadog]

You're a burglar, but you can only steal things that will mildly inconvenience people.

I'm going with..
The round plate out of the microwave.

I nicked @Dave7 's passport. Such fun.

 

[Salty seadog]

My girlfriend did this in extremis one time. There was a tiny front garden completely full of the little feckers; she moved the whole lot into next door's hitherto empty tiny front garden.

Not in Dover was she?

 

[LeetleGreyCells]

Steal the bolt from the seat post collar.

 

[winjim]

carefully file all open end spanners 1mm larger

Replace all metric tools with imperial.

 

[Salty seadog]

The knob from the top of the pepper grinder.

Bastard.

*reaches for his mortar and pestle*

 

[LeetleGreyCells]

Bastard.

*reaches for his mortar and pestle*

Steal the pestle...

 

[PeteXXX]

Evil, I know, but I'm going to steal the keys off the tins if Spam 😈

 

[Rezillo]

The potato peeler. I'm convinced it is being stolen on a regular basis already, given the number of times I've emptied drawers of utensils looking for it.

 

[raleighnut]

Evil, I know, but I'm going to steal the keys off the tins if Spam 😈

Leave the corned beef ones alone

 

[LeetleGreyCells]

Evil, I know, but I'm going to steal the keys off the tins if Spam 😈

Leave the corned beef ones alone

Feel free to take the ones from the sardine tins...

 

[PeteXXX]

Leave the corned beef ones alone

Oooh!!! They'll be gone, too 😊

 

[Moon bunny]

One castor off each of the beds.